Practically Professional

While grabbing on to the rope to go up the slope... fell.

While standing at the top of the slope, doing absolutely nothing... fell.

While standing at the bottom of the slope, doing absolutely nothing... fell.

While actually skiing down the hill... Handled it like a pro! I was even working on turns! I didn't fall once and my bones remained perfectly intact!

Woot Woot!

I'll Try

Dear precious baby Jesus:

Please keep me safe today while I attempt skiing for the first time. Please let all of those times you have allowed me to break arms and fall down stairs and up stairs and trip when walking... just be funny jokes or coincidence and not truly an indication of how clumsy you made me!

That's My Name, Don't Wear It Out!

When I was a little girl, I totally hated my name. I think every young girl pretends that their name is something else every now and then... but I totally hated my name. I felt like it just didn't fit me... And I felt like "Tori" and "Dawn" and "Mallory" fit me so much better.

I went away to church camp when I was in like 5th grade or so. Rather than having my parents drive me and drop me off at the camp, I just went with the church group. Which gave me the opportunity to complete my own "intake" paperwork when I arrived... I can assure you, that no Charlie arrived that day. But, Tori did!

For a few years after that my parents wondered who "Tori" was and why I was so excited when we accidentally got her mail.

I went to summer festival when I was like 21 with some girlfriends and as we were walking around, one of the girls, Tiffany (a name I had often coveted), decided we should all make up fake names. I was totally down for this game and was just about to resurrect Tori when she said, "I am going to be Joey... guys names for girls is so hot"!

And with that, I decided my name was just fine!

I get asked all the time if my name is short for something or what my real name is... but today it happened like 4 times. And, each time, I proudly said, "Nope, just Charlie!" and secretly thanked my parents for a name that was just perfect for me!

Biggest Fans

This weekend was babyboycake's last basketball game of his league.

Little kids basketball is a freaking riot, first of all... Some of these little nuggets are so adorably uncoordinated and clumsy! It reminds me very much of someone..... but I just can't quite put my finger on who....

Hmmmm...

Because it was the final game, all the nuggets got to run through the smoke machine with the "get pumped up" 80's music blaring, it was pretty presh.

Boyfriend and I decided that we should participate in the festivities by creating signs. I suggested one poster board cut in half, so as not be too obnoxious, but boyfriend doesn't do things half way... so two big poster boards of GO BABYCAKES, it was!

(We put his actual name, because babycakes would have of course caused major problems for the remainder of his elementary and probably junior high careers...).

At first I think he was totally into it. But, as the game progressed and we continued to shake and hold up our signs while yelling for him each time he ran down the court, he just stopped even looking in our general direction.

After the game, I was like, "Hey! Did you like our signs?!". "Yep." he dryly responded. "Were they a little embarrassing?" "Uh, yeah. A little."

There was a line... around first quarter... and we clearly crossed it. Good thing I didn't wear my "I Heart Babycakes" button (gigantic, old school New Kids On The Block size, of course!).

Caaatch Up

Hehehe. I love this! It is so very, very true!

So... have we talked since Thanksgiving?? I don't think we have, I totally missed you. And, do you wanna know what you missed... My uh-may-zing turkey. No joke, hands down, best. turkey. made. As in made in all of the Nation. If there was a Nationwide contest, mine would win... sorry for your luck. I couldn't believe it and was so relieved, because it was my first turkey attempt ever. But, it was so juicy and tender!

When I was little, I used to take a bite of turkey and immediately take a drink of water... turkey still in my mouth... because if I didn't it was too dry to swallow.

And, before I get an angry voicemail... the turkey I am referring to is not my mammas. I won't name names, because I don't want to hurt feelings... but the person responsible for this turkey has a name that rhymes with Mrandma.

Moving right along... really, you will want an invite next year and I will be happy to welcome you!!

So, I am traveling for work today and it has me reminiscing about when I used to travel for the software company. I used to spend a lot of time in hotel rooms and having dinner by myself. And, it totally cracks me up on how well and for how long I can entertain myself. Tonight, I have given myself a pedicure that is worthy of an award, cleaned out my make up case, balanced my checkbook and organized all my work files. I could be here for hours and hours before I ever needed to flip through the channels and actually pay attention to what is on TV.

In other travel news... I left a meeting this morning and headed down the city sidewalk only to catch a glimpse of the parking meter reader person slowing down near my car. I thought I was right about at my limit... but watching it go down is like a swift kick in the bucket. So, I did what any person would do... once I got past my clients section of the building... where he might see me... I took off running, yelling at the meter reader!

She didn't even pause. She looked up and continued writing her stupid ticket. I don't mean to be aggressive, but I wanted to just run right in to her, football style... taking her out, while tossing her ticketbook. But, I had other meetings to get to and didn't feel like taking time for a trip to the pokey.

So, let's bring it on home for the Caaatch Up Wrap Up with this random little bloggity blog... I have some fancy toes, a ticket and a turkey that will knock your socks right off!

Content?

I didn't particularly love it when my alarm when off at 4:40 this morning and had to exit my cozy, warm bed only to be greeted by 30 mph winds and 25 degrees...

And, while I like my job, I didn't excitedly and hurriedly get ready so I could get here as fast I could...

But, I was fine with both of this things and actually pretty upbeat... today is Friday after all and next week is a short week!

I was fine with it, right up until I talked to my mom.

She is a teacher and this week has been parent/teacher conferences. Today, she bragged, she only has to be there between 8 and 11, there are no kids and she and her co-teach have hot plans to lay around and watch Eclipse. They are Twihards, obviously. Also, co-teach is bringing in breakfast.

Why did they have to go mess up my contentment with all their fun, laz-o-ness?

Twihard punks.

Hello Ya Laz-o

Did you know that you can hire someone to put up your Christmas lights?? Well, this is news to me too!

I, for one, am completely offended. I claim my laziness, by not putting up lights at all! These outsources are just sneaky little jerks! Not to mention, it is like 60 here and it was on the weekend too.

I can't imagine what they do when they are asked to open a present.

Oh. Wait... that they can probably handle. Dirty jerks!

You Hungry...Me Domestic Goddess

I did something that I totally never do this weekend... I cooked. A lot!

Have you guys heard of Pinterest.com? I have heard a couple of people talk about it and then I saw a reference from another blog I read, so I had to check it out... and it sucked me right in. It is uh-ddictive. Everything you never knew you wanted or needed to see. Including some super yummy looking recipes.

So Saturday night I baked a taco bake from twomaidsamilking.blogspot.com and some green bean casserole (that wasn't a pinterest recipe, that was a last minute request from babygirlcakes). I don't necessarily know if the two went together... in fact, they did not... but, I am happy to report that they were both so delicious!

I made a deal with boyfriend and the babycakes that if the dinner was totally disgusting (which, there was a definite chance) that I would order a pizza... and BAM that didn't happen!

I felt like I was on a roll, so Sunday, babygirlcakes and I baked sugar cookies and snickerdoodle cookies.

And, I don't know if you can handle this... but not a single one was burnt on the bottom or tasted like I accidentally mixed up the salt and sugar amounts. Which may or may not have happened once.

So, if I am visiting you during the holidays, you may just get a treat. That I didn't buy premaid from Hy-Vee! Woot woot!

Time For A Change

Yesterday I saw my dermatologist for my yearly full body check. Just to make sure things are A OK... and I think that I may need to start looking for a new doctor.

Doctor: "Hmmm... that is an interesting mole above your belly button..."

Charlie-Girl: "Well, that is because it is a scar..."

Doctor: *pause* "Oh, yes, right."

Really.

Starting With A Bang

It is 8:07 and already this morning the following things happened:

1.) I fell down the stairs.

2.) I backed out of my garage and directly into my garbage can... I just took out.

3.) One of the VP's said to me while I was getting my coffee, "Hey, aren't you supposed to change after you leave the gym, before coming to work."... because for the first time, probably ever, I wore tennis shoes and a hoodie to work...

4.) While rethinking my casual dress choice and pouring myself a cup dumb-o decaf, I realized that a million grinds were coming out, because the filter had folder over.

So. That is fantastic.

But... Babygirlcakes, just got back from a trip to Florida and brought me back this presh little turtle... What a perfect day to bring him to work too, because I feel like those flat eyes are saying, "Hey chick! You aren't a total disaster!".

He would say it with a lisp too... I totally love to give things lisps.

Baby Makin Machine

Well, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have announced they are expecting their 20th child. Their 20th! Do you even have to push with the 20th or does it just fall out??

But, she Michelle's got nothing on... well, I can't tell you her name, because she is only known as "the wife of Feodor Vassilyev". She has given birth to 69 children... I guess when you have that many names to remember, you can't possibly be expected to know your own, right?!

And, Lord knows she can't forget that stud horse Feodor's name!

Over It

This morning, I jumped out of bed and ran to the window to see if we really got the snow that was forecasted.

In all honesty, I hit snooze about 37 times and stumbled to the window, probably while scratchin' my hiney... but that doesn't have the same ring... so we will go with my first description.

Aaaaanyway... I looked outside and sure enough, there was a blanket of pretty snow on the ground and I think I actually said "Yeeesss" and did that crazy seventh grade move where you yank your arm back... Is there a name for that move??

All the sudden I wish this was a video blog, so I could demonstrate it for you... There are a few other things I would demonstrate for you as well... like how I can do the splits! But, now I am getting off topic and just bragging.

After quickly throwing on my gym clothes, I ran downstairs and opened my garage door and realized that I didn't have to scrape off my car... or have to run a block away to where I had to park... it was right there waiting for me, clean and warm! Man... this winter was starting off like a dream!

Then, I backed out of my drive way and decided to spend my entire day thinking of ways I can move to another state... one without snow and humidity (can't forget my hair...). It officially took me about 4 minutes to be over this stupid weather and double stupid snow. I can take cold all the live long day... but snow is suuuuuuuch a giant pain in my aforementioned hiney!

Because only me and Jesus were up and going to the gym at that time, none of the roads were cleared off... or so I thought... there was one snow plow that decided to plow all of the snow into a mountain directly in front of the parking lot entrance. So, that was nice of him.

I was trying to have a good attitude because of all this beautiful, mild weather we have been having... but apparently I am over good attitudes too!

On Opposite Day....

I was heartbroken to hear about the Kim and Kris break up news.

It was clear that their marriage was strongly rooted in sincere love and true life long companionship.

Also, I feel bad for all this negative press she is getting for the cost of her wedding... I think 10 Million is an appropriate budget for her wedding. It was her special day, after all and she is going to do this once, right?! Right?!

I mean, look at her, you can totally tell she is looking into the eyes of the man she thinks of as her "forever".

The Best Time Of The Year

Remember when I was feeling so down in the dumps because this is my favorite, favorite, favorite... oh, and did I say favorite, time of year and I was missing out on all the beautifulness?!

Well, this weekend totally made up for it. It was the perfect fall weekend.

Friday, we went to a haunted house. The suspense of standing in line at a haunted house is so great....

Saturday we went to a pumpkin patch that had a pedal go kart track (that I dominated at), a petting zoo (at which I promptly asked BF for quarters so I could feed the animals... as if I was 6) and a corn maze! That night, we carved pumpkins, roasted the pumpkin seeds and had delicious chili!

And yesterday was trick-or-treating!

If I was more of an organized planner, I could have shared pictures of this amazingness with you... but I definitely dropped the ball on that one. So, you are just going to have to take my word for it that it was the perfect fall weekend!

Really?

My Google search for "Funny Homemade Halloween Costumes" yielded this result from MarthaStewart.com... Hmmm. My homemade crafts look a little different than that.

Time Out

I have been MIA... I know. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing good to talk about, so I just zip-a my lip-a... Then I think I should close down the old bloggity blog, but I can't bring myself to do it. I just love it! I am quite certain that my mom and aunt are the only readers (Shout out! Woot Woot!) and since it is only them, and I talk to them on the phone to fill in the blanks with all that I am not blogging about, occasional and intermittent blogging is permitted. I just shouldn't make a habit of it though...

Let me bring you up to speed... Last time we spoke I had wobbly ankles. I still do. So there is that. I do have a plan though... If I ever trip and fall in public, I am going to instantly go limp and pretend I fainted. No kidding. I was actually thinking about it the other day... Boyfriend and I were in line at the store and my arms were full with groceries and specifically a few wine bottles. I almost lost my grip on one and I decided that if it fell, I was going to drop everything and pretend to become very dizzy, as if the wine was dropped because of a medical issue, not because I am clumsy. This idea is genius if you ask me... I don't look dumb and people feel really bad for my poor dizziness condition.

Anywobblyankles, I got off subject.

Next, Boyfriend, the babycakes and I headed to the big city of Peoria. (If you are a Bachelorette fan, this was totally my "hometown date".) It was a great trip home and I got to see all of my very most favorite people.... you know you who you are Tony Haddad. While we were taking the babycakes site seeing, we came upon a pack of wild turkeys, apparently that is common in cities of more than 370,000 people nowadays. That officially sealed the deal in babyboycakes' mind that he wanted to live there someday... Oh the dreams of children.

Then... well... then I worked. And I didn't do much this past weekend, but watch tons of TV and took a nap and watched two movies (without falling asleep once, and it was after dark! Wahhooo!) and cooked a really yummy authentic Italian supper with Boyfriend.

Actually, speaking of that... once upon a time, when I was a little girl, my dad taught me that the only way to tell if pasta was really done was to throw it against the wall. If it stuck, it was. I am pretty sure that he was lying to me and just being the crazy, fun dad that he was... but still to this day, I am not able to finalize my pasta without throwing it against the wall.

So, that about brings you up to speed. I know... Slow down is what you are probably thinking. All this excitement and activity! I am out of control!

Unsteady

I have some seriously wobbly ankles. They don't hurt and usually I don't even notice them, except when I wear heels or when my totally rude-o friends make fun of me.

So, you can imagine how hard it was to stay upright while running down stairs today during a building evacuation at a clients office. Eight full floors of wobbly ankled goodness. I understood that there were people behind me, also trying to save their souls from whatever impending doom had prompted this dramatic evacuation... but I needed to focus on not breaking my ankle. Or falling down the stairs... which is also something that I have "dealt with" on a few occasions.

I can also report that wobbly ankles are equally as unsteady going up.

Old School

In a world of spreadsheets and online banking complete with imports into your bookkeeping system, I choose this route.

I carefully record each debit entry into my spiral notebook, that I have lovingly drawn columns on with my ruler. As each transaction clears my account, I am sure to highlight it!

I do use a calculator to adjust the balance though, as my abacus no longer fit it my purse.

Poker Face

I have, in the past couple of years, lost my ability to have a poker face. I used to be really good at appearing to be cool, calm and collected... but apparently I can no longer do that. It has been happening more frequently, too. I assumed incontinence and hip problems would develop with old age... but this, I didn't anticipate.

Today a situation came up at work and the second the conversation started I felt my face and chest get hot and my hands started shaking. Shaking for crying out loud!

It is a little bit hard to look like a tough nosed, no nonsense professional when I have sweat on my forehead and I am practically vibrating.

Uppity Update

...On my bloggity blog.

Guess who is the best little barista in town?? Me, duh!

Remember last week when I was going to start volunteering at my church's coffee bar... well last night was my second week doing it and I LOVE it. All caps, serious wanna marry it, love it.

It is just a short shift and we are done by 8, but I really don't want to leave... I want someone else to come and order a big ol' mocha latte. Um, not a smoothie, though, because I make a mess with those... I digress, another story, another day!

Anyway, back to thinking about what an amazing barista I am...

It was my calling. I knew it, I knew it!

The Bees Knees

Yesterday BF and I went halfsies on a old school Mobile Traveler. Yep... that's right! We're the proud owners of a big ol' RV!!

We picked it up when it was dark, so I couldn't take a picture... but this guy above bares a striking resemblance.

Ours is way better and has so much more character though... the door doesn't match because the previous owner's son in law had a bit too much to drink and decided to move it with the awning still out. The replacement door was found on the internet and was the only part left of another RV that had gotten swept away in the devastating 2008 Parkersburg tornado.

It has thick orange shag carpet and is decked out in Iowa State posters, banners, etc.

There are four home games left... this thing is going to be a tailgating dream!

We can't stop when the season ends though... Oh no. Why stay in a Marriott when we can plug in to campgrounds all around Nation and vacation in real style!!

What Can I Get Ya?!

One of my life's dreams is to open a coffee shop. It would have big, huge comfy chairs, and it would smell like hazelnut candles... Sade and Sarah McLachlan would be soothing our souls.

It would be one of those places that you totally love going to, because we are so nice and happy and inviting and we know peoples names and how they like their coffee...

I could day dream for hours and hours about my presh little coffee house. But, alas, it is just a dream... I considered working at Starbucks or Caribou a night or two a week and pretending it was mine (minus telling people what to do asking to see profitability reports)... but working all day and then having a confirmed commitment at night seems like a bit more than I want to deal with.

But guess what!? My church has a coffee shop and they need volunteers! Woo hoo! It is going to be like working at my own coffee shop, but only when I want to! I am sooooo excited, you can't even imagine.

I start tonight. I will be sure to remind the person I will inevitably spill on that they have to forgive me... 7 times 70, right, this is church after all!

Try Try Again

I made a pact with myself Monday to not go to lunch at all this week, to save money... I have recently gotten in a really bad routine of going to grab this delicious salad from a deli close by.

The not going to get the salad part is going very well... the saving money part, not so much.

Monday had lunch from home, but went shopping and bought a new sweater. Fail.

Tuesday had lunch from home again! ...But decided I needed a pedicure. Fail.

Running to get a salad was way cheaper!

Next weeks pact will have to be to not only bring a lunch... but to not leave my desk!

Get In Line....... After Me.

My germaphobic issues may be getting a little out of hand. Even I can tell. Last week was the Iowa/Iowa State game, which is practically Iowa's Superbowl. Since it is our busy time, they couldn't very well just give us the day off, so we had a potluck. Potlucks are about the sickest thing I can ever imagine. The second I look at the homemade green bean casserole, I imagine someone coughing in their hand and picking a piece out to "taste test". And, then I want to barf.

One girl was nice enough to walk by my desk and tell me her contribution was store bought...Clearly, I am not doing a very good job of hiding my crazy.

Well. I can tell you that I certainly didn't do a very good job of it today, when I about took somebody out. Football tackle style.

A lady in our office is leaving; today is her last day. I really like her, because she always talks about drinking Busch Light and she wears totally funky jewelry. Important friendship basis factors. So, when I heard her stand up and start her walk around the office for goodbye hugs, I decided I would actually give her one. She seems healthy today, after all!

Right about then, I heard on of the girls nearby say, "Sorry you have to hug me and get my germs today!" THE HELL SHE WAS! I practically took off in a dead sprint to intercept; yelling, "Wait! Hug me first!" I wasn't going to allow this chick to swim in a Petri Dish before I got to say my proper goodbye!

I would like to think they saw my eagerness as sincerity, but I think they have me figured out...

Humpity Hump Day

Today, I feel a lot like this fella. Down in the dumps. I think it is because I totally love that it is getting chilly out. Weird, right, that I love something and it makes me down in the dumps?! I am not actually down in the dumps because I love the weather, but rather because there are things that I love, love, love that I am missing out on!

Like this weekend is the Pumpkin Festival, by my home town. And, instead of being in that presh little town, enjoying my family and the awesome pumpkin crap... I will be doing something that is not that. I don't know what, and it may even be fun... but it won't be that.

And, it is my totally busy season at work, so that means weekends at the office and that is making me a total grump too.

In other news, that I am too grumpy to really enjoy, but wanted to share anyway... because in a couple of days, I am going to love that I rediscovered it...

These guys do exist!

Where Two Or More Are Gathered

It makes me sad that in this Nation, One Nation Under God, formal prayer was banned at the memorial services for one of our Country's greatest tragedies.

When we take time to consider the hurt and pain and anger that was inside those that attacked us, how can we not, as a Nation, cry out to the Lord to thank Him for the Mercy and Grace that He shows us each and every day... and thank him for allowing us to find peace and comfort in the moments that will change our lives forever.

I may just have a tiny voice, but for that tragedy and for those that were affected by it, I will stand in the gap...

Dear Heavenly Father -

You held a father back for just an extra few minutes, because Your plan for his wife and children were bigger than that day. You looked upon a mother that lost her daughter and held her heart, allowing her to take her next breath, even though the pain was so deep she thought she couldn't. You pulled us out of the darkness of our doubts and fears in a time when that darkness was so consuming.

Thank you for the people you put into place during that time, that saved lives, that gave their lives, that endured so much to show your love.

Thank you for being the Great Protector and the Great Healer. Thank you for Your mercy and grace, that knows no boundaries.

In Jesus' Name - Amen.

Weekend Wrap Up

Boyfriend, the little babycakes and I went to his grandma's 88th birthday party Friday night. The cake balls were a huge hit! The preparation improvisation went completely unnoticed! His family is so much fun; it reminds me of being with my fam, because everybody is just so relaxed and joking and normal. I knew we had to drive home that night, but we started playing dice and I totally didn't want to leave. So, by the time we left, it was later than we wanted and it was storming so bad outside!

The second we started driving, we knew it was going to be a sketchy situation; we couldn't see even a foot in front of the car and the wind was really bad... but once we got to the highway (we were gravel roadin' it to this point) it seemed to let up just a bit. Perfect timing, since I have the bladder of a 3 year old... and had to ask bf to stop. He probably wanted to lean right over and push me out of the car. Because, it really does seem like every time my seat belt clicks in place, something in my brain sends a message to my bladder that within 10 minutes we should probably stop. And, tonight was not the night to be stopping for this nonsense. What's worse is that since I was already stopping, I figured it would be appropriate to get a cup of coffee as well. Time was just a tickin!

By the time I got outside, I could hardly open my car door, because the wind and the rain was so bad... my pit stop allowed the storm to catch up! BF's son was not having it at all, either. At. All. I was going to have to watch my back, for sure. BF may not have pushed me out for asking to stop, but there was nothing stopping this precious little spider monkey from attacking me and dumping hot coffee all over my lap for causing us to be in this scary situation!

So, down the road we headed. Or so we thought, we couldn't really tell. Every once in a while the lightning allowed us to confirm we were still on the road though, so we had that going for us. The car was shaking, the rain was going in circles and there was so much debris on the ground. If I would have been driving, you better believe I would have thrown up my arms and belted out Jesus Take The Wheel, Carrie Underwood style. BF was holding it together though. Right up until the car started vibrating and we happened upon a downed tree, completely covering the roadway. That's what got him, I think. So, we drove to the next town up and stopped at what we assumed was a fully operational hotel. We couldn't really tell though, because all the power was out.

You guys do know that I am deathly afraid of storms, right? Do I need to remind you of that? I was actually hoping for the spider monkey attack and spilled coffee, because then I wouldn't need to explain why grownups sometimes have accidents in their pants!

As we made our way to the rooms... led down the hallway by emergency lights and I happily announced "Boys in one bed, girls in the other! What a cool adventure!" I was secretly wondering if I had a permanent marker in my purse, so I could write my Social Security Number and next of kin of my thigh.

Anyway. We made it through the night though, safe and sound. The. End.

Chapter two.

Isn't this the longest bloggity blog I have written in years?! It's like I woke up this morning and decided to give you a little literary treat!

So I am going to get a little vulnerable.

Please hold.

Ok. I typically write about crazy happenings in my little neck of the woods and keep the serious-ness to myself. But, today, I decided that I am going to share a short little snippet of something with you. Because I got to thinking... that I would like to be able to look back a year from now, or 5 years from now and know just how happy I am in this very moment.

Yesterday, BF and I were headed home from him his hometown. No tornadoes this time! And a drive that would normally take about 2 hours (including bathroom breaks) took about 7 and I loved every second of it. We just drove and talked and went down roads we didn't know existed... and BF showed me a covered bridge. We even drew "BF + Charlie-Girl Forever" in it. It was a day that I wanted to have a million more of with him in my life.

Cheater Cheater Cake Ball Eater

We are visiting BF's hometown tonight to go to his gram's birthday party. Whenever we go there, I feel so bad, because I didn't prepare anything in advance of the visit and I show up to the party empty handed... and my mamma taught me better than that.

So, last night, I decided to make my famous cake balls. BF's little girl babycakes helped me!

Unfortunately, we were a little short on time and cake ball making is really an involved project. You have to bake the cake first, then smash it up with the frosting, then roll balls, then freeze it, then roll it in almond bark... Aren't you totally tired just thinking about doing all of those steps?! And, I don't even have eggs and oil... so this is a start from scratch process! With that, I decided to improvise.

Now... I know when you are baking with an impressionable little girl, you should teach her the proper ways to do things.

I have never even turned on my oven since I lived at my new place, though, so maybe learning anything from me in regards to food preparation is not the best idea.

Off to Walmart we went, to get a completely pre-made and decorated cake. And, some almond bark.

Step 1: Take the cake out of the container.

Step 2: Smash the whole thing up!

No extra ingredients needed! No dirty mixer! No need to wait for baking and cooling time!

We eliminated the first two hours of work!

Geeeeeeeeeeeenius!

Case Of The Mondays

Here is a little of me that you may not know...

1.) I pride myself in the fact that I am a quick responder to emails and texts. I don't mess around.

2.) My current fav dinner is a bowl of Shredded Wheats.

3.) Whenever I see Fried Green Tomatoes or Steel Magnolias on TV, I instantly miss my mamma.

4.) I can give myself a pedicure that looks better than a $50 nail spa one. In fact, my little pigs look way better when I do them, then when I go to a place.

5.) One of my many nicknames at work is "Bucket"... as in Charlie Bucket from Willy Wonka. It is my fav and totally cracks me up.

6.) I routinely type out my prayers and email them to myself, because I feel like I can better articulate myself when I am writing then when I am talking.

7.) I, secretly, am totally addicted to all things Jersey. I can't get enough of Jerseylicious, Real Housewives of New Jersey and the Jersey Shore.

8.) I have to drive back home, after I leave my house, at least three times a week to make sure I shut my garage door.

Blessed

Today is absolutely, amazingly beautiful. It is one of those days that make you so sad that summer will soon be gone.

BF and I slept in, then went to one of our favorite breakfast places in Des Moines East Village and then went for a drive. He always takes me to places I didn't even know existed. Like, this precious little carousel!

I love Des Moines. I love him. I love this day.

Special Day

Dad: "This is Tom!"

Charlie-Girl: "Hi Dad!"

Dad: "No. This is TOM."

Charlie-Girl: "...Hi Dad."

Dad: "Not DON, Tom!"

Charlie-Girl: "DAD! Hi DAD. Not Don or TOM, Dad!"

Dad: "Oh, yeah, hi!"

Apparently, on my dad's special day, turning another year older, he is going to celebrate by embracing hearing loss.

Even still, I sure do love him!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Yelling!), Dad!

If You Can't Beat 'Em....

Over the next several weeks/months I am going to lose my bf each and every Saturday. And some Friday and Sunday nights.

The season hasn't even officially started yet and already there are signs of this disappearing act.

I have been a longtime fan of... well... tailgating and day drinking myself, but I chose to not make it about the game, so much, but more about everything that is going on during that game. Like beer pong. And flippy cup. And delicious cook out food.

This year, though, I am going to make a true effort and read the book that has been collecting dust on my shelf for a few years now....

Get Your Own Damn Beer, I Am Watching The Game! promises to not only entertain me, but to explain football in a way I can understand.

So far, hints such as this when discussing fumbles, "If this type of boo-boo occurs to HIS team, scream at your TV and throw things" do bode well. That. I get.

That'll Teach Me

We are in our "Open Enrollment" (read: incredibly busy) time at work right now and to keep morale up, Senior Managers gave us all Open Enrollment t-shirts to wear on Friday, if we so choose.

I so choose to not wear a big old purple smurple t-shirt in public.

I am rethinking my position on said smurple, however, because they have a drawing for the people who wear them each Friday... So far I have missed out on several $25 gift cards and a dang PTO day. It was the PTO day that got me...

So, last week, I decided to wear mine. But, alas, that particular day, in the grand tradition of how my life works, they threw every body's name in and mine was not chosen. Total waste of a wear.

I was thinking about wearing it this morning and then taking it off after the drawing, but I thought that would be classless and tacky... two things that I am not. I. Am. Not.

Fast forward to now...

I was dying for some Sushi, but since I am busy, I didn't want to go to a place and have it... so I opted for take out.

So, there I was, sitting at my desk, eating my take out sushi with chopsticks, like the fancy beeeotch I am... and I noticed that a co-worker actually did the smurple quick change!

Oh. Em. Gee. Really!

So, I sat there totally judging her lack of class, while pouring some soy sauce on my sushi. Holding my chopsticks in my mouth, a la a walrus... when the CFO walks by and says "Nice Look....".

That is what I get for judging I guess.... Look whose the classless and tacky one now!

Mother Nature's Gymnasium

When I go for a run in the morning... since only me and little baby Jesus are up... I take it upon myself to take full advantage of my little piece of the world.

I usually run right down the middle of the road, like I own the place, but today I was feeling a little jazzy, so when I got to my turning point, I decided to bust out some jumping jacks.

I can't imagine what some poor person heading to the early shift would think of a random jumping jacker in the road... Don't think that stops me though... next time, I am doing burpees.

I am totally kissing my muscles right now.

Dear...

Everyone...

Will you please not put:

on your vehicles??

They totally stress me out. I really get a sick feeling in my stomach and a headache... and the larger the family, the worse I start to feel... And God help us if they have pet pictures.

Do you think that says something about me??

Nah! Me neither!

Inflation?

Remember when you walked around the neighborhood with your friends selling candy bars for church or sports and they were like 50 cents?

Sell one, eat one, sell one, eat one more... Oh, you didn't test your supply?! Yeah, me neither!

Or, when you had to sell like 8 year magazine subscriptions for $5.95? I personally didn't like that one, because I was a horrible salesman and at our school, the more magazines you sold the more Weebles you got for you key chain. I was forced to just stair at other peoples, thinking about how much cooler they were than me and ways I could steal them.

Does anyone else remember Weebles?? The things with crazy troll hair and sticky feet, so you could stick them to your desk??

Sometimes I think I made them up, because no one knows what I am talking about when I mention them (you know, they come up in conversation a lot)... and I googled them and no luck...

Anyway, I digress.

Well, the other day two kids (that actually weren't kids at all, they were like 20) came to my door to sell cookbooks for $45.00 a pop!

What the hell happened to 50 cent candy bars and troll hair dolls? That is practically a full tank of gas! Typically, I would make a pitty purchase... but, as I don't actually cook, therefore would have no use for a cookbook and I don't want to have to budget this in... I am going to take a pass.

Old School Saturday Mornings

Today, BF has a conference to go to at our church, so I am spending the day hanging out with his babycakes. We have a totally fun day planned... lunch at the one, the only... Smasburger (I had to convince his son that Smashburger for breakfast is not the best idea in the world... he is way excited) and then painting pottery!

This morning though, totally has me taking a walk right down memory lane! I used to love, love, love Saturday mornings at home; Saturday morning had the best shows on! California Dreams, Saved by the Bell, Pee Wee's Play House, Fraggle Rock! Do you totally remember those?! The Smurfs and Scooby Doo were on too, but our mom wouldn't let us watch those... you know, all that soul corrupting ghost hunting and sorcery going on...

But, we didn't care, because even though we weren't allowed to watch those shows, they did make us some delicious blueberry "pannycakes".

Oh, how I wish I was eight years old right now! But, since I am way past that, I am just going to join right in with them and pretend I am for a few hours!

Caution: May Cause Bodily Harm

This morning I got a little over zealous with my lotion/spray/body dew oil routine and it is about to cause an accident.

I first noticed my issue when I sat my elbow down on the middle console in my car, only to notice a big ol' grease circle from by elbow.

Next, I nearly bit it walking into work, because my toes are so oily they won't stay in my sandals.

The final clue was when I sat my elbow on my desk (sometimes it takes me a minute to really get things, and apparently the grease circle in the car had already escaped me...) and it slid on down, causing me to fall forward.

I am like a regular old coconut smellin' slip and slide right now... not a dry patch it sight.

False Sense Of Security

This morning I got up at about 5 to go for a run. Since it was still dark, I grabbed what I thought was my pepper spray out of the car.

It was dark in the garage and apparently I was still half asleep, because when I got about a mile out, into a pretty dark and desolate area, I clutched my pepper spray for security only to realize I had grabbed my extra car key, not my weapon!

Weapon makes me sound so tough, doesn't it!?

What would I have done, jabbed my attacker?? Or maybe tried to start them?

The good news is I made it home safe and sound and because I had my key and not my spray, there was not chance of an another incident like last summer!

Heat Index: 115 Degrees

Just when I start to think about the fact that Swamp Ass is inevitable... even if you are just walking into work...

I think about the alternative and I am just fine with it.

Chillin In My Snuggie

My office is totally freezing, all the time... So, I brought my stolen airplane blanket from home to wrap myself up in while I am working. I wrap it around my neck and arms like a shawl and then stick my fingers out to type.

Well, the other day, a co-worker stopped by to drop of a little present for me! A Snuggie! She said it was sad to see my little fingers sticking out from the blanket and this would allow me to have full access to my desk, while still keeping warm!

I tested this fantastic little treat out and there is only one issue..... As you know, I get up around 4:40 every morning, so generally speaking, there is never a time I am not just a little bit tired and now that I have given up caffeine too, being wrapped up in this soft, dangerously cozy snuggie makes me think that my next gift will be a pink slip. For sleeping at my desk.

It's Friday, Friday, Friday, Oooooh!

1.) This picture was chosen for no apparent reason, other than I just love these two. Well... really her more than him. She is absolutely beautiful. I hope in their private moments at home, with no cameras around, they have fun and screw around with each other... Like slappin butts and watching tv in their pj's.

2.) This week I went fishin! Real, old fashion worm/dirt/pond fishin!! It was boyfriends birthday, so we went with his little babycakes. They caught 18 together and I contributed a whopping 1... but, I was in my dress from work (who wouldn't go fishin in a dress?!) so I got a pass on this trip!

3.) Remember when I wrote myself the Stuart Smally note?! Don't worry, I didn't remember either, because it was so long ago! But, today I found this... "You are independent and strong. You have great friends and a fantastic life. You are happy and you deserve to be. Oh, and you are totally beautiful too!" Clearly, I was really caught up in my love for myself by that last line!

Lesson Learned

My parents came to stay with me this weekend because my dad was in an art show here in Des Moines and since my brother was in the States, he joined them!

Sunday, my mom went to the art show with my dad, a little earlier than Kristopher and I. So, while I was getting ready, Kristopher was reading. So I thought.

When I walked downstairs I noticed quickly that he had actually not been reading, after all. He had been busy turning my place upside down. Literally. He hung every picture upside down, turned everyone of my Coffee and Dining Room table tiles upside, he even turned everyone of my rugs upside down. But, what really got me is that he took the time to actually take my pictures out of the frames and reframe them upside down.

I later discovered that he hid the toaster up above my cabinets in the kitchen. Lord knows what more I will find as the week progresses.

I very clearly need to speed my "getting ready" process up considerably.

Overwhelming Fumes

I ran to my mothership (Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale) over my lunch hour.

In most cases when I visit that store, I walk out smelling a bit like a hooker and this visit was no exception.

I had to go to a meeting as soon as I got back, though, and ooooooh my goodness. I felt so bad for the person I was sitting next to, because I was even grossing myself out. It is hard to pinpoint exactly which smell I bathed in that smelled like sweet, yet spicy ass, because there were oh so many of them... But, I do now know how to give myself a sink bath in my office restroom.

I Am Switching

To the Metric System.

I just went to Mexico and turns out that you weigh like half of what you really weigh, you run twice as far and twice as fast.

That sounds pretty darn encouraging to me!

Pet?

I went on a super long walk with my my great friends Ryan and Bryan last night and it turned out to be quite a hike... I think all total, we covered about 6 miles, saw a big gigantic snapping turtle and the cutest little baby frogs you can ever imagine. I googled this picture, but that is seriously how tiny these little babycakes were. I thought one was a little pebble and almost stepped on it, but then I realized what it was.

I totally can't stop thinking about how totally adorbs it was... So I emailed Ryan this morning with a plan...

Me: I think I am going to go find one of those mini frogs and have it as a pet....

Ryan: Remember... they do get bigger. Like kids. Also, you can't just get it and then give it away later.

Me: Why can't I get it and then give it away?? I would actually get it, wait until it became like 2 inches long... which would make it lose all of it's cuteness, of course... and then I would toss it out of my slider! While he was still under 2 inches, and I still loved him, though, I would name him Dog. Dog the Frog.

Ryan: ANIMAL KILLER! Of course, after he lost off of his ability to survive on his own... it would only make sense to throw him out to the wild to be killed/die!! Leave those mini frogs alone, you bully!

Clearly, he is just way to sensitive to discuss my plan with... Expect him to not be invited to Dog's welcome home party.

Tryin' It Out

I have not kept it a secret that I seriously hate running... I am not a runner, but I do force myself to do it as much as I can.

Boyfriend is also not a runner and he may or may not know it.

Yesterday, he didn't know it and suggested we try something new he had been reading about, barefoot running. Our Lord and Savior engineered our feet perfectly, who needs Nike, right?!

I am up for trying new things, so we headed out and gave it a whirl.

Pros:

I was so focused on not stepping on a big piece of glass or a gigantic rock, that it really did take my mind off of the run itself... allowing me to run faster and longer.

I could tell that I worked my calve muscles more, because of the placement of my foot when it hit the ground. (That may or may not be a good thing... I haven't checked into it yet...).

Not having to put on shoes and socks cut down the "getting ready" process by about 45 seconds.

Cons:

We really did look pretty silly, truckin down the street with work out clothes on and no shoes. I was dying for someone to say something to us, so I could yell out, "Don't worry! We are barefoot runners!!".

Maybe you shouldn't take you first couple of runs in a neighborhood with children. I can tell you, that if you miss a rock and accidentally step on it, eff bombs are getting dropped. You can't even help it.

The barefoot running shoes (isn't that a contradiction?!) are about $90 at Scheels and they are so ugly!

Final Report:

I may try it again, if coaxed and without coaxing I may try on the barefoot running shoes and take a lap or two around Scheels, I think a true customer assessment would be a good idea.

Web MD

I have been diagnosed via Web MD today with Strep, Mono and Pink Eye.

I have had a sore throat since last Thursday... I woke up this morning with my eye swollen shut, but now it is just red... And, I have been so tired lately, so today, I went and took a nap at a park on my lunch break.

I bet I looked preeeettttty creepy to the kids playing there today!

Web MD apparently doesn't diagnose boredom and allergies.