Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ello Gov'ner

Friday morning, bright and early, I will be boarding a plan headed to.......


Wait for it...... Waaaaaaaiiiiiiiiittttttt for it....



LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that's right, London Baby!

My totally awesome big bro lives there and has asked me to visit several times, but it has just never worked out. So, this past Christmas you could only imagine how excited I was when it looked as though finally we could put a plan in place!

He would be able to spend a couple of days with me, showing me all of the cool places he has found, and then the other days while he was working, I was going to get to explore the city on my own. Then we could meet up at the pub to talk about our days.

I am sure you can also imagine how disappointed I was when I learned that he would be flying out just two days after I got there for work..... I understand though, duty calls, work is work. I am sure he is pretty disappointed too.

But, the good news is, we get to see each other a couple of times a year, so I will be able to see him again in July and I have always wanted to travel to an exotic city by myself and explore for hours and hours.

Granted... my brave travels for one probably would have been in a city that has American currency. And, it probably would have been in a country that my blackberry works... but, eh, what can you do. Roll with the punches! Take the bull by horns!

*I am totally fist pumping right now... a mad rush of determination and excitement.*

So, I will enjoy the short time I have with my bro and then make London my beotch!

*Additional fist pumping!*

Hi, Buckingham Palace tour ticket... Just one please!

And, for the record, please know that I fully intend to be that dorky tourist that asks random people to take my picture. Yep, just me!


Monday, March 29, 2010

No Foolin' Em

I pride myself in being adaptable when it comes to people and situations. Multidimensional, if you will... I can meet professionals and handle them with the same ease I would a group of my mom's special little spaz kids.
Please excuse me while I take a minute to pat myself on the back...

Ok, done.

aaahhhemmm... back to my story.

I am pretty sure that this past weekend, I lost my touch. Because, I can assure you... when I donned my very best "country" clothes on my weekend visit to the farm... I was quickly found to be a faker. They could see right through... those smart, hard workin cowboys could smell me from a mile away... They smelled city.

But, I was determined.


What?! So what if these were my very best "country" clothes.
Yeah, that's right, do you see shit on those boots? That is real shit, like as in cow shit I walk through after I climbed a fence to offer moral support during a cow roping situation.
When I got home, I had to take off my boots in the hallway because all of the shit on them... I was thinking to myself that was officially the first time I had to remove my shoes outside of my apartment because of feces... but then I remembered one time I was on a run and wasn't paying attention to the dog ahead of me or the heaping pile he had left in his wake.... but I digress... that is not the point of this story.
While I am off subject though, I will assure you that I vigorously cleaned my table after this little picture share.....
Ok, back to cowboys.
I tried to prove my adaptability with my new found and not too shabby shuffleboard skills... but no. I climbed over fences and even climbed up into the biggest tractor I had ever seen in real life or in movies... but with that hat and those shoes on... I might as well have told them I was a vegetarian while painting my nails and rolling a sushi roll...
When they took to calling me "Squaw" (because I was wearing Indian shoes) I knew nothing I could do would convince them.
I boldly and defiantly rocked my army hat and Indian shoes though... those tough guys were not about to break my spirit.
I think out of spite I may just have to make those items my official farm gear.
Take that. You sunsabitches might be able to break a horse, but ya ain't breaking me!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I Am No Longer Allowed...

To have movie night with this little chica here...



The other weekend we had movie day at her house and we watched Paranormal Activity... I don't know if you have ever had the misfortune of watching that movie... but it is the scariest movie EVER!!! Seriously EVER... Terrifying... Get it, it was scary.

I literally have not been able to sleep with the TV off since I watched it. I still get scared when I turn off the lights, so I have to turn it off and run as fast as I can to my bedroom, where I make sure the light is on. Luckily I live in a small apartment!

So, last night, we watched The Box. I can assure you Cameron Diaz isn't winnin any awards for that movie, because it sucked. But, even though it sucked, it was still another scary one. I expected a box and a man with half a face waiting for me when I got to my door.

So, I have decided, that I am no longer allowed to have movie night with Ms. Colie, unless she chooses a good ol' wholesome chick flick. Or, maybe a Disney Film?!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

O'Charlie Girl Celebrates St. Patricks Day

This week I had Wednesday and today off, so I could celebrate my Iowish heritage, of course. A two day break in the middle of the week is a fantastic thing to look forward to!






But, the adventures actually began this past weekend... Allow me to catch you up.







First, my friend Kelly called me and asked if I wanted to go with her and her daughter to drop off some Girl Scout cookies at one of the Des Moines Fire Stations... she said we would get a tour, so of course I was in!









I am pretty sure there is a toddler that lives inside my head. The same toddler that wanted to jump on stage with a song and dance routine, while visiting my client. I had to completely stop myself from pushing her daughter out of the way and testing everything out myself! She got to do all the fun stuff, like get on the ambulance, try on the fire suit.... I was so completely jealous. And, they didn't even have a pole I could slide down, because apparently, those poles are an insurance liability now a days! Who knew?!










After our boring trip to the Fire Station, my friend and I headed South so I could feed my current country addiction! Her parents live on a farm and I happened to know about some cute country boys that wanted to take us out! Swoon!









Not only did I trade in my black pointy toed heels for some "gum boots", I saw a fresh born baby cow. And, by fresh, I mean the afterbirth was laying next to her. One would think that I would be grossed out by this... but, nu-uh, not me... not now. I loved every second!










After all that excitement, it was time to celebrate.... well.... green beer!










With these adorable fools!













It was damn cold to start the day off! It got better though, don't worry. The weather got better, the green beer flowed freely (and by freely, I mean, at about $4 a pop....) and apparently, my dance moves got better and better... or so I thought.







By the end of the night, we were tired and our little piggies were soar! And, this pig reference, has nothing to do with the farm!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Smitten Kitten


I will admit that I am more sushi and starbucks than hay bales and herds of cattle... but. And, by but, I really mean BUTT... I definitely have a thing for the country boys, as it turns out!
I went to the Jason Aldean concert last night and I was seriously in love with practically everyone. Country boys and cowboys are seriously deeeaaaaad seeeexy.
Oh... those wranglers...
more importantly those butts in those wranglers...
Two steppin in the aisles during good songs...
So manly, so protective.
How can you not just swoon?!
So what if I would have to break up with him for getting a cow shit dropping from his boot on my carpet.
And, so what if I would ask him to wash his hands and face before kissing me.
It might still work out... right?!
Well, ok, fine. So, maybe I am not cut out for all of that manly germiness... but, after last night, I sure will give it a try!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Check Ya Later....


Goodbye 27. Hello 28.
Yet another year has quickly passed. Goals accomplished, lessons learned.
I can't wait to see what my future holds and what this year will bring.
I am happy, I have great friends and even though my family isn't close in proximity, they are with me from the time I get up to the time I go to bed.
Here goes....... Let's see what adventures come my way.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Flair For The Dramatic


Last night I was invited to a make your own sushi/wine/board game party. I was a little hesitant at first because the attendees were going to be two married couples, an engaged couple and a couple that just moved in together.... and me.
I am not the third wheel. No, me, I am the KICKSTAND!
So optimistic, of me.
Anyway, I am so glad I went, it was really fun and I am one hell of a sushi roller if I do say so myself.
Luckily, a couple of the husbands ditched... so it wasn't a couples only situation that I would have had to over compensate with charm and comedy for. I could just enjoy.
You know how funny and charming I am, after all.
There was only one problem... I guess it wasn't a problem really, but more of a little disappointment for me.
We played this super fun game called Quelf.
(I hesitantly admit to you that we didn't actually call it that. We called it another name.... I am sure you can guess what that was. Oh, come on. The female fa....... never mind, I can't say it. Just figure it out!)
Back to my disappointment. The game cards instructed you to do funny things, like one girl had to build a fort of cushions/pillows/whatever she could find and hide there until her next turn. Someone else had to throw themselves to the ground every time they got passed on the board by another player.
The problem was... those should have been mine. I would have done those tasks justice.... dramatically throwing myself down... I can just see it now. Still, the disappointment lingers.
No, instead, I had to enthusiastically throw my hand in the air every time I had a question and boldly announce, "EXCUSE MEEEEEE.... I FEEL A QUESTION COMIN ON!"
While I of course made that task my bitch and enthusiastically asked every question, I had potential for so much more.