Theft Of Baby Jesus

I was out shopping with the family when I was home for Christmas and my mischievous little sister convinced me to steal my mom's dorky nativity scene broach... her outfit was so cute, but that little broach was making her look like a total nerd alert.

I had full intentions of giving it back when we got home, but once the robbery was complete, in my pocket it went and I forgot all about it.

Well... even though you would not think that I would have to bust out my winter coat at the end of March... especially after a night of tornado warnings, this morning and I did.

As soon as I stuck my hand in my pocket, I was reminded of the fact that I sneak attack'd little baby Jesus off of my mom's trendy sweater!

I kind of did her a favor... And, my sister really did make me do it... but, it makes me sad every time I stick my five finger discount into my pocket.

Dear Mamma... and baby Jesus in the manger... I am sorry and I promise next Christmas, I will spend more time celebrating your birth and less time being a stealer.

Do You....

...think it would be rude if I posted a note or two on a nearby computer that simply said...

HEY LADY: QUIT POPPIN YOUR DAMN GUM!

I can't believe she doesn't annoy herself!

You've Been Warned

Yesterday, I had the unfortunate pleasure of going to my first (and last) estate sale. I was tricked.

One with a freaking glass doll room. I was skeeved out before seeing that, but the brown shag carpet doll room about pushed me over the ledge.

I know this picture is totally bad quality, but surreptitiously flicking pictures is not my specialty. Although, it is something that I am working on getting better at. (Not like a New Years Resolution or anything, just trying harder...)

Anyway, to all those that love me and may potentially be in charge of my "estate" when I pass. I swear to the good Lord in Heaven. If you allow random booger diggin people to rummage through my things, my ghost when kick your ass.

No joke.

Do It!!!

Would you please for one second check out this chick?!?!

I know you can't see her face very well, but what kind of quality can I expect when I found this by trolling facebook... But, you can totally see her big ol' precious melon. In fact, this beautiful little chick has a name, but effective immediately after I found out she was preggers, I forgot it, and only call her by melon. It just seems appropriate.

She is the one that busted out my mom.

Anyway. I went to lunch with her today, but it was so hard for me to concentrate on anything we were talking about, because I could only focus on how totally adorbs she is and how much I wanted her water to break!

How great would that have been if right there during our Asian chicken salads she busts like a balloon all over our table neighbors and I had to dramatically start yelling about the lady with the baby and rush her to the hospital!

Is it weird that is all situations I am secretly hoping for stuff like that to happen?!

I was trying to get her to do it, but she explained it doesn't quite happen like that and she wasn't super pumped about gushin' all over folks' shoes...

Every party has a pooper, I guess!

Tale Of The Tipsy Giver

These two chicks share my birthday month and we all happened to be turning 29. So, we decided to throw a 29 and Lookin' Fine partaaaay this past Saturday night.

I took my actually birthday off from work, so I could get a manicure and shop and just relax and while I was out, I picked up a really cool bracelet.

Well, apparently, I tend to be quite the little giver when I have had a few too many shots!

Random Girl: I love your bracelet!

Tipsy Charlie Girl: OMG, I know, isn't it great! As I am taking it off... You can totally have it!

Random Girl: What?! Are you serious!

Tipsy Charlie Girl: Yes! I love doing this! If you love it, you can have it!

Now... the non-tipsy, not quite as generous me was pretty pissed this morning when I went to put it on.

This is not the first time this has happened either... Thank God she didn't say she liked my shirt, I suppose!

P.S. Would you just look at this adorable-ness:)

Why Are Banks Open Today?

I had the day off in honor of by Birthday... didn't you all?! It is so weird that some of you still had to work!



You can tell from the excitement in Daniel's card and accompanying letter that he had the day off in honor of my birthday, I'm sure!



You would think that this kind of giddiness in my mind would subside as I get older, but it doesn't. I feel like I need to wear a button or something... so everyone will know and we can all celebrate together!



You know who does know it is my birthday?? Caribou Coffee! In fact, they sent me a free drink coupon. Is it bad that I made a copy of it and used one this morning after the gym and used my copied one just now, to have a delicious coffee drink treat while I bloggity blog??



Let's just keep that little sneaky trip under wraps, shall we?!



So... Goodbye 28, hello 29.


Here I come!

Impeccable Timing

I recently purchased new living room furniture! It is dark chocolate brown and so comfy and cozy!!

So I decided to put my old stuff on Craigslist and just yesterday, I had a buyer.

The good news is, I sold my old stuff so I don't have to worry about where I am going to donate it and having to get it out of my apartment...

The bad news is... My new stuff is being delivered directly to my new place the day I move. At the END OF THE MONTH!

So, for the next two weeks, I will be having carpet picnics!

I was a little depressed looking at such a sad sight last night, right up until I started doing my push ups and sit ups before bed and I realized how much space I had!

I totally felt like the guys on Step Brothers...

Look at all this floor space! We can do aerobics in here!

Uh... It Is Not What You Think

When I went to London last year, some friends that I met at a pub were teaching me about a drinking game that they play called "Eff Me". Except, you use the real word, not "eff"... but this is a classy bloggity blog.

Don't worry, this story is not going to have an ending reminiscent of Jodie Foster in The Accused...

Anyway, each person has a kind of "Eff"... Like I would be "Crazy Eff" and someone else is "Sloppy Eff"... So, if it was my turn, I would have to sing this little song:

OOOOOOooooooh Eff Me!!!!! Crazy Eff, What the Eff, Now I want a Sloppy Eff...

And, then Sloppy Eff has to go and sing either my type of Eff or another persons. But, you have to be fast about it, because everybody is clapping and you have to pay attention and know every one's type of Eff, because if you get it wrong, you have to take a shot.

It was a total blast and seriously funny, because when you really get going, you just end of yelling Eff! a lot and there is just something funny about that.

Well, I wrote it down in this little notebook that I carry around, because I didn't want to forget it.

If you don't carry around a notebook or a small thing of post it notes, to jot down ideas when you have them, I encourage you to do so... You just can't imagine how handy that is!

Well... I keep my notebook in my computer bag and the other day, I forgot my bag at BF's house. Now, I am not saying I am a peaker... Ok, actually, I am saying that. Not every single time, but I am not the type of girl you leave waiting in a doctors office for two long, because stuff will end up in my purse.... I am pretty sure that BF isn't like that though... but what if he was and he looked in my computer bag, opened up my notebook and just saw this in big ol' letters on the very first page:

OOOOOOooooooh Eff Me!!!!! Crazy Eff, What the Eff, Now I want a Sloppy Eff...

Can you imagine what a total crazy hooker he probably thinks I am!?!

Elderly Entitlement

Please meet Carl. My Neighbor.



I don't actually know his name, but in my head it is Carl because he looks and acts so much like the guy from Up. He is a total grump, but you can tell that he is actually a precious little man.



The average age at my apartment complex is about 26 and the drink of choice is Jager, so Carl is bucking the trend a bit... I guess I might be a little bit of grump too if I couldn't lounge my old bones by the pool peacefully during the summer time, because it might interfere with the kick ass game of tippycup that has captivated the rest of the crowd.



Anyway, sometimes the non kickboxing days at my gym get boring so instead of going there, I just run at my apartment gym. I go at about 5:00 AM and each time I do it, it is just me and ol' Carl. I wave to him when I walk in, just out of courtesy... we are the only two in the whole place after all, but he just gives me a dirty look back and looks away! I don't care though, because he wears a sweat band around his forehead and I love it!



This past Thursday morning Carl and I got there at about the same time... I waved, he grimaced, of course... but I noticed he was carrying in a big fan.



I got on the treadmill, he headed to the elliptical. But, before he got on, he propped up this fan in the window right by his face!



He finally got on and started working out, but after a few minutes the machine started making a banging noise.



That is when this little old man, with his sweat band, gets off the machine, goes to his bag, grabs a hammer and starts banging away!!!!



Finally a piece of something bends and then falls off and Carl got back on and started working away... the fan just cooling him right off.



Maybe at that age you don't have the luxury to wait for help?!

Brilliant

This morning when I was putting on my pants and the claspy thing broke, I was thrilled with my genius move to just sew them up real quick.




Sew the claspy thing back on, you would assume?! No way, I didn't have time for that... Why mess with the claspy thing when I can just sew the pants together... after all I was wearing a suit jacket, no body would ever be able to see and it would be much faster.




Quick needle and thread job and out the door I went.




At work, two cups of stupid decaf later, I found myself in the bathroom in quite the little pickle...




Trying to wiggle in and out of my sewn up pants all day got me to thinking that I should probably think things through a little better.......




P.S. Also, since I am sure you are dying to know... I managed to make it through an entire home visit in BF's hometown without offending anyone, tripping, accidentally farting, choking on my food, falling down stairs, etc.! It is just a darn good thing I didn't pack my claspy pants.



P.S.S. Yet another letter from the worlds best pen pal (do you think they have a pin that says that?!)!




P.S.S.S. (Man, this is a lot of P.S.in..) IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! Do you think that when I actually get to 30 I will stop observing the entire month?!