Security Breach

It is our busy season at work, so with that comes time in the office on weekends. 

 

By a show of hands, who likes working on the weekends?!  Anybody?  Anybody??!  Oh, yes, that is what I thought.  Me neither. 

 

To make matters worse, I have the early shift and have to be in by 7.  So, by girl time, since I have to leave my house at about 6:20, I have to be up no later than 5:00.  Puke...

 

For the second weekend in a row, I have succeeded in setting off the office alarm.  Which means frantic text messages to our IT Managers.

 

They now hate me.

 

In my defense, I forgot there even was an alarm because we now have key swipe thingies.  ( I am pretty sure that is their technical name.)  So, why would I even need to know a code? 

 

That might not actually be a good defense, now that I think about it....

 

But, since there obviously is, I did get a new code this week.  In my defense again, the IT contact I asked forgot to actually activate the code he gave me.  It was probably on purpose, because he hates me for last week. 

 

I think explaining my situation to the Police Officers this morning, while staff members were arriving really improved my professional image and displayed my ability to deal with adversity.

 

 

Open Casting Call

I went to lunch with a good girlfriend yesterday and she was looking so slim and trim, but just had a baby.  I was all, “Seriously… how did you just have a baby and you are a total skinny minny?!”.

 

She told me her secret and I feel like I’ve been duped!

 

You mean to tell me, I haul my cookies up at 5 every morning to run my butt off, contemplate everything that passes my lips and I could have been breastfeeding all this time?!

 

If you'll excuse me... I need to find some folks to breastfeed…

Official Diagnosis

 

Dear beloved readers, both of you –

 

It is with a heavy heart, but some relief that I make the following news public.  After years of struggle and with the help of a 20/20 special, I have been self diagnosed with Misophonia.  According to Wikipedia, Misophonia is literally translated to the “hatred of sound,” or a form of decreased sound tolerance.  In other words, if you chew ice around me or snap your gum or even cough… I want to punch you.

 

Plagiarized directly from Wikipedia, little is known about the anatomical location of the physiological abnormality that causes such symptoms but it is most likely high central nervous system structures.  It is believed to result from abnormally strong connections between the autonomic and limbic systems in the brain, rather than over-activity of the auditory system.  In other words, if you are breathing heavy or need to blow your nose but are delaying it by sucking it back into your face or are tapping a pen or make a slurp sound when you take a drink… I want to punch you.  Hard.  And after I punch you, I will take your pen away or make you spit out your gum or pour out your drink or make you blow your nose. 

 

Unfortunately, for everyone involved, there is no known treatment.  So, I ask you to please be patient with me and my struggle and simply refrain from making any noises.  Ever.

 

Yours Truly –

 

Charlie Girl

I totally didn’t want to get out of bed this morning! I haven’t been able to sleep in, in like 3 weeks and I hate that it is no longer the weekend.

 

Do you want to know what else I hate?!

 

• Black toilets – Dis. Gus. Ting. Really.

• Four way stops – I don’t even know how to use them.  Seriously, I never wait until the appropriate time to go.  I get up to my turn and just go as soon as someone hesitate.  Nearly every weekday of my life, this behavior gets me flipped off. 

• Unmade beds – Don’t even get me started.  It is the biggest thing in the room, ya’ll!  If you make that, your room is 75% cleaned up! 

• Leaky coffee cups that drip – I swear the next time this happens, I am sending my dry cleaning bill to the gas station.  No joke.

• Delivery and read receipts on email exchanges – I always click “no” when the email prompts for a read receipt.  It is so rude.

 

But, I am not a complete hater jerk… so here are some things I looooove!

 

• Really long “explorey” walks – This weekend I walked for like 30 miles!  Not really, probably only like 4.  But, it was down streets and trails I had never been down.  While I was out, I also stopped by the Adel Historical Museum… which was totally lame, but something I have not ever and would never do typically.

• Movies – I love to go see movies and I got to see two this weekend! 

• Somersaults – Yes.  I just said that!  This weekend, I decided to make the bed by doing somersaults to get to the other side, instead of just walking around.  It was way faster and totally cracked me up.  You can’t do it when you get to the end though, because it totally crinkles the covers you just straightened.

You totally want to try the somersault bed making right now, don’t you?!  Do it!

Evolving

Every single day this week I had the exact same thing for lunch:

Grilled chicken salad, with green peppers, black olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, banana peppers and red onion.

Sometimes I can’t believe how grown up I am, to eat things like green and banana peppers and black olives.

My palate must be getting so mature!

1,365 Toothpicks

I am a lot like Rainman when I am running in the morning. Here is what I mean…

There are nineteen houses on S. 15^th Street and 11 from the stop sign up on S. 14^th. There are typically 13 cars on Aspen Drive, but sometimes 14, presumably when someone is getting to have a sleepover. (Yeaaah, baby.)  There are 49 small block sections on the upstairs window on the house at the end of Maple. It typically takes 88 steps to get from Aspen to Maple, but only about 54 from Maple to Aspen when going to opposite direction…

And the list goes on. My runs are exhausting and I don’t even mean phyisically!

Heelllllllooooo Lady!

Where have you been, I have missed you!!?!  I was taking some time off.  Because I am boring.  I can only put so many different spins on the fact that I get road rage, have gigantic hair, like coffee and hate to run.  It gets to a certain point where you realize I am a total lamo blamo, because you are all so smart…. Not to mention extremely attractive.

But, the simple truth is… I love this little bloggity blog.  I have missed it so much.  And, sometimes you just need a break.  But, it is ok to come back, right?!  Even if I am a total lamo blamo!? 

Here are some highlights about what has been going on.

• Remember this boy??  I am totally in love with him.  With my whole heart.  I think he is the most gorgeous man I have ever laid eyes on. 
• He proposed in April. 
• I said yes.
• We bought a house in a cute little small town where people let their dogs just ride around in the back of their truck… and when they go into the bar, the dog just hangs out and guards the junky truck like it has cold hard cash in it.
• Maybe it does?!
• I digress.
• I ran a couple of races and did the Warrior Dash, which is like a mud run… It was so much fun and I am totally tough… you have no idea.  I am kissing my muscles even as we speak.

Time flies, as you know, but trying to combine homes and lives and starting new routines…. It was a lot going on.

I really saved you guys, actually, by taking some time off.  Because, there may have been times when I might have been a little… grumpy… not many of course, because I have such a wonderful temperament… but, there were a few.  So, you’re welcome.