Leavin' on a jet plane...

Well, I am headed to Los Angeles tomorrow for work. I have never been to California, so I am pretty excited. And, of course excited that since I am flying I will have plenty of time to read a good book too, which is my favorite part of traveling!!!

The problem is that I have a very important Santa Pub Crawl to go to on Saturday night and my flight doesn't get in until 3:00. So... here are the potential issues: fires in Southern California which are now potentially worse due to Santa Ana winds, snow in Des Moines, and my layover in Denver is only like 30 minutes which means any delays out of California and I am screwed... Not to mention, I will probably run into my good friend Lauren Conrad from the Hills while I am there and they will want me to be part of their reality show and then who knows where that will lead!! Ok, so maybe the last one isn't truly a potential issue... but whatev!

Wish me luck... I have a totally cute Santa's Ho Ho Ho costume that will for sure go to waste if this doesn't work out!!!

Game Night.

Des Moines is the proud new home of the ENERGY! This NBA Development league is the newest addition of things to do around Des Moines. I went to the opening game on Monday night. It was pretty fun… but apparently the referees are also trying to get brought up into the NBA as well as the players and they were calling everything! Seriously the whistle was being blown like every five seconds. It was a close game though, especially at the end, so it was pretty exciting.

So, they had the standard group of cheerleaders called “High Voltage”. I was not trying to be a hater, but even the guys that I was with were commenting on the fact that the majority of the girls should not be wearing spandex. I have been watching the CMT show about making the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleading squad and I see the rigorous training sessions these girls go to and how they are constantly getting their body fat checked and what not… this was the exact opposite. But I digress, because I am kind of becoming catty now.

Anyway, so the chubbabubbas did their dance and it was fine, the game continued. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a group of 50, 60, and 70 year old women and jokingly I said that they were the half time show. Much to my pleasant surprise and amusement, the halftime dancers the “Spark Plugs” were announced!!! These old ladies started busting a move to MC Hammer like they were 19!!!!! I loved it. They were terrible and incredible all at the same time! It was so funny and definitely made the game worth going to.

While I am thinking about it,

and I have had at least "A Few"... Can anyone tell me what the plastic thing is that comes in Guinness Bottles?

In honor of...

Due to the Thanksgiving Holiday and families being together... I am going to have a few guest commentators!!!!

In this post, I am going to type, word for word, exactly what is dictated to me by my family standing near by. This is a huge risk for me....

Tina (mom) says: "I am so glad you are home... It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without our Charlie girl."

Chelsea (Sister) says: "Oh, cause Charlie's the favorite..."

Jenna (Cousin) says: "I hate Limewire, I hate Java, I hate this freaking computer... it is pissing me off..."

Tina (mom) interjected at this point and pointed out that comments should pertain to "Her Majesty"... That's me!

To which Jenna replies, "I love Juicy Juice." I have no idea where that came from.

Lisa (Gorgeous Aunt) says at this point: "That's all I have to say about that."




I think we can all agree that this is the first and last installment of guest commentators... They are clearly not funny and have nothing interesting to say!

Weekend Fun

We had a Tippy Cup competition this weekend at a totally fun hole in the wall (by hole in the wall, I really mean hole in the floor... as in actual holes in the bathroom floor) bar in Des Moines. I pretty much dominated!!!

Random Thought Thursday

If you think about it, there are kind of a lot of fugly celebutards out there.

Apartment Woes_Updated!

I am very particular about everything in my apartment. Also, I am very routine. So, when I came home and my shower curtain was open, I was surprised that I had been that careless and didn't remember to shut it. But, when I found nasty drain stuff in my garbage... I knew those bastards had been in my apartment, and they didn't even leave a work order or note on my table.

So, I called the office the next day and let them know that I didn't appreciate someone being in the apartment without leaving a note, because seeing things in places that I knew I didn't leave them scared me. Also, I wanted to know if they thought they had fixed the problem, because the shower was still leaking.... She informed me that they had been in the apartment and she was sorry that they forgot to leave a note, but they had to order a part and in order to fix the shower, they are going to have to go through my freaking bedroom wall!!!! First of all, are you freaking serious with this crap!!! Second, good thing I called... otherwise, what, would I have come home to find a whole in my bedroom wall?!? This is going to be like a four step process with mildew treating the apartment, fixing the problem and drywalling, painting, and then cleaning the carpet. In the meantime... I just have to deal with living in what is turning out to be the projects.

It's mine and I can!

Because it is my blog... if I want to get a little mushy and sentimental, I can. Ha!

I have been thinking so much lately about being here in Des Moines and all the new things that are going on in my life with friends, work, etc.... And I am so fortunate. I seriously think that I have the very best friends in the whole world and the most amazing family as well. So, thank you. For all the support you have given me, times you listened, scared the shit out of me by showing up at my slider with dairy queen;), danced with my drunkness when really you wanted go home, changed plans at the last minute to be my winggirls, ate dinner late so you could lift when it was convenient for me, sent me a sassy text that made me smile, gossipped with me on the way to work, made me try something new... even if I strongly protested at the time.... I am so happy because of it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And now I am done.

Apartment Woes

Seriously, my apartment is pissing me off. I mentioned a while back that when I first moved in the garbage disposal wasn't working and it took forever for them to come out and fix it... They also said when I moved in that they had ordered all new carpet for the walk ways in the buildings, well this new carpet doesn't really seem to exist.

Well, now my shower is leaking. It actually has been leaking for a while, but it was just a little bit of water on the bathroom floor, so not really that big a deal. Now, it seems to be gallons of water onto the bathroom and into my bedroom carpet. So, being the non confrontational, polite person that I am, I wrote the office a note and put it in the drop box with my last rent check. I dropped that off on the 1st. I finally dropped the non confrontation, polite act on Friday (the 9th) and called their bitch asses! Of course everyone was "temporarily unavailable" and I had to leave a message. Saturday morning I was getting ready and noticed that not only was my shower leaking, but my sink in the bathroom is as well. So, it is coming from both sides of the damn room!!

Saturday night I got a call from an unknown number, so I didn't answer it. Of course it was them and by the time I listened to my message and called them back, the office was closed.

So, I called them this morning to ask what the deal was and of course the maintenance guy is out sick today, but they will get it taken care of right away... Already 12 days later. He did stop to ask me what I do on the weekends... like that has any relevance whatsoever to the current conversation. I told him, recently, I have been doing really exciting things like soaking up water off my bathroom floor... Jackass. Fix the damn plumbing!!!!

A Whole New World

Apparently I have had my head up my ass for the two years I have been in Des Moines. There are so many cool places here that I never even knew about. I did a little exploring this past weekend and even tried a new restaurant and I am pretty excited about my renewed interest in the city.

My friend Lisa has mentioned this little bar she and some of the girls she works with go to on occasion. It is a small little towney bar, kind of in the middle of no where. Well in my explorations I happened upon it. I stopped in for a beer and of course became best friends with the bartender... She told me her weekend work schedule and told me I had to come and see her every Saturday at 5. That's not gonna happen... but it was still fun!

A little office interaction...

Please note that the names have been changed to protect the innocent...

Jane entering my office: "Can I use your three whole punch?"

Me being a facetious bitch: "um... no."

Jane: "You're such a whore..." As she walks away with my three whole punch.

List Revision

I was talking with someone about lists last night. Like lists of places you want to go and lists celebs that you find so attractive... After I said who was on my celebrity hot list I realized that my list is horrible!!! The only people I could come up with were Michael Douglas and David Letterman! Michael Douglas is probably pushing his late 60's by this point and I think it is safe to say that Letterman doesn't exactly fit into a "hot" category. I think that I am going to have to sit down and put some thought into revising my list. Luckily, I was able to save face last night with explaining that they are only on my list because I find their mix of intellect and humor very attractive... not because I like to hit up the nursing homes for potentials.

In regards to my travel list, I realized that it is very long and at the present time, I don't see any opportunities to mark things off. So, if you happen to be or to know an editor of a popular travel magazine, I am available to do contract travel writing!!! Full compensation package and all expenses paid for myself and a companion is all that I would require... such a deal!

Close Call

I just about lost my finger to a cigar cutter in a "digging through my purse" accident. You know, because I smoke soooo many cigars, I have to keep a cutter on hand...

Happy to report...

In a drastic turn of events from last year... not only do I not have to beg and plead for the day after Thanksgiving off... Everybody gets it off. So, the vacation day that I was going to use will be used the day before! Five blissful days with the family.

My poor little brother and sister... it sucks for them when I am home, because I am my parents favorite...

No Ho of the Show Here!!

Saturday night the girls and I went to a “Passions” party. To kick the party off they had a “Ho of the Show” contest. The party host asked about 55 questions and for everything you had done, you had to mark a line down on a piece of paper. Kind of like the “I Never” game… only we didn’t get to drink as much. Anyway, she would ask normal questions like “Have you ever worn a thong?” or “Have you ever made out in a church?”… Who hasn’t right?!?! But she also got crazy with her questions… you can call me directly for those examples-this is not an X Rated blog!!

Well, I happy to report that as crazy as my little group of girls get, none of us were the Ho of that show!

I am sure my parents are just as proud as I am at this moment!

In the news this morning...

In light of the possible sexual and physical abuse at Oprah's South African all girls leadership academy, she has purchased cell phones for all of the girls with her direct line programmed in... the girls can contact her directly the second anything happens. Oprah doesn't play around!!! Unfortunately, because the school is in fact in South Africa, there are no cell phone towers near the school. So, the plan is to leave the grounds and catch a mule to the nearest village. If that village doesn't have service (which it won't) they are to write a letter and send it with the next pack out of the village. They get picked up monthly.

This morning the man that survived the steam pipe explosion in New York City appeared on the today show and was interviewed by Matt Lauer. He was accompanied by his attorney, because he of course plans to sue the ever living shit out of said city!!!

*Warning* The following is "Off Color" so if you are easily offended, you should probably stop reading!!

Finally, in December of 2002 Laci Peterson disappeared. Later her body and that of her unborn child were found. Her husband Scott is currently on death row in San Quentin Prison, after being convicted of the crime. Very recently, Stacy Peterson came up missing. The man she is married to happens to have already lost one wife to a "drowning accident" in the bathtub... Of course, he denies having any involvement in his current wife's disappearance.

So, if your name happens to be Macy, Casey, or Pacy Peterson... don't get married. If you do, you are fucked!

Big Time.

So the cocktail waitress from Drink called again just now and asked if we wanted to be VIP again tomorrow.... So weird, so cheap!