Friday, November 2, 2007

In the news this morning...

In light of the possible sexual and physical abuse at Oprah's South African all girls leadership academy, she has purchased cell phones for all of the girls with her direct line programmed in... the girls can contact her directly the second anything happens. Oprah doesn't play around!!! Unfortunately, because the school is in fact in South Africa, there are no cell phone towers near the school. So, the plan is to leave the grounds and catch a mule to the nearest village. If that village doesn't have service (which it won't) they are to write a letter and send it with the next pack out of the village. They get picked up monthly.

This morning the man that survived the steam pipe explosion in New York City appeared on the today show and was interviewed by Matt Lauer. He was accompanied by his attorney, because he of course plans to sue the ever living shit out of said city!!!

*Warning* The following is "Off Color" so if you are easily offended, you should probably stop reading!!

Finally, in December of 2002 Laci Peterson disappeared. Later her body and that of her unborn child were found. Her husband Scott is currently on death row in San Quentin Prison, after being convicted of the crime. Very recently, Stacy Peterson came up missing. The man she is married to happens to have already lost one wife to a "drowning accident" in the bathtub... Of course, he denies having any involvement in his current wife's disappearance.

So, if your name happens to be Macy, Casey, or Pacy Peterson... don't get married. If you do, you are fucked!

2 comments:

tom said...

Hi Charlie,
Hope you have a greta evening at Drink being the VIP. Whoever owns the bar is a genius, give free drinks to beautiful girls, the paying guys will be coming in all night. Dad

tom said...

Oh and if your name is Macy - Casey etc.... DON'T MARRY A PETERSON GUY.