No Foolin' Em

I pride myself in being adaptable when it comes to people and situations. Multidimensional, if you will... I can meet professionals and handle them with the same ease I would a group of my mom's special little spaz kids.

Please excuse me while I take a minute to pat myself on the back...

Ok, done.

aaahhhemmm... back to my story.

I am pretty sure that this past weekend, I lost my touch. Because, I can assure you... when I donned my very best "country" clothes on my weekend visit to the farm... I was quickly found to be a faker. They could see right through... those smart, hard workin cowboys could smell me from a mile away... They smelled city.

But, I was determined.

What?! So what if these were my very best "country" clothes.

Yeah, that's right, do you see shit on those boots? That is real shit, like as in cow shit I walk through after I climbed a fence to offer moral support during a cow roping situation.

When I got home, I had to take off my boots in the hallway because all of the shit on them... I was thinking to myself that was officially the first time I had to remove my shoes outside of my apartment because of feces... but then I remembered one time I was on a run and wasn't paying attention to the dog ahead of me or the heaping pile he had left in his wake.... but I digress... that is not the point of this story.

While I am off subject though, I will assure you that I vigorously cleaned my table after this little picture share.....

Ok, back to cowboys.

I tried to prove my adaptability with my new found and not too shabby shuffleboard skills... but no. I climbed over fences and even climbed up into the biggest tractor I had ever seen in real life or in movies... but with that hat and those shoes on... I might as well have told them I was a vegetarian while painting my nails and rolling a sushi roll...

When they took to calling me "Squaw" (because I was wearing Indian shoes) I knew nothing I could do would convince them.

I boldly and defiantly rocked my army hat and Indian shoes though... those tough guys were not about to break my spirit.

I think out of spite I may just have to make those items my official farm gear.

Take that. You sunsabitches might be able to break a horse, but ya ain't breaking me!