Apparently inner girl cup started to overflow a little bit with all the “me” time and spa party activities, so I had to counter it with a boys day on Friday. Rather than sleep in on my day off, I got up bright and damn early to go to Kickboxing then went home and got ready for my 1:00 Tee Time with my great friend Red. Red is seriously one of the funniest guys ever and I knew I would be in for a great time… right up until he told us that two other people had been assigned our tee time, then I was just worried. Primarily because I have only golfed one other time in my whole life, and while I am perfectly prepared to look like a jack ass in front of Red, I wasn’t prepared to do so in front of strangers. Nor did I think they wanted me to hold up their game with my (multiple) attempts at hitting the ball off the tee.
Luckily, the other two were so nice and made it perfectly clear to me that they had all the time in the world and they would be patient. And, while there were definitely times when I looked like a complete moron, it took me several true effort attempts to make contact with the ball, I almost broke my wrist when contact was made with grass about three inches behind the ball, and certain situations warranted me just picking the ball up and throwing it in the general direction of the green… I didn’t do too bad. In fact, I made an incredibly long putt in one attempt and I not only got the ball over the pond thingy when all three of the other boys couldn’t (Seriously… six balls were lost in attempts) I got it directly in the putting area. First try. No. Really, I swear.
During our little golf outing, of course we were drinking and drinking with Red also means doing shots… in the middle of the day. In fact, I will admit the aforementioned “Killed it” shot was completely driven by the fact that the next stop was clubhouse before the back nine and I had to pee so bad I would have swam across the pond to put my ball on the green at that point. And, as we all know once you go once, you will find yourself having to go non stop and this particular course had only two porta-potties. One on hole 4 and one on about… um the twelfth, maybe. I don’t quite remember. Luckily, being the smart chick I am, I had the presence of mind to grab some toilet paper from the second one just in case I needed to excuse myself to the weeds at any point. And, thank goodness I did, because that is precisely what happened. Being the lady that I am, though, I took the cart to find a far away, people-free weed zone and on my way my toilet paper flew out of the cart. Well of course it did, because things like that just happen to me. It couldn’t have been an empty beer can or something…. I am sure I looked really cool driving around erratically chasing toilet paper through the golf course, all the while laughing my ass off… partly because I am not above laughing at myself and partly because… well, Red got me drunk.
Finally, we wrapped up the golf outting and headed back downtown because Red had a work thing to go to. Prior to this, I had called my other great friend Muscles to meet me downtown to drive my drunk ass home (from the bathroom stall of course… I can’t let Red think I couldn’t hang). So, Red headed to work and I headed to meet Muscles. Unbeknownst to Muscles, I wasn’t quite ready to head right home though… I was having way to much fun, so I convinced him to have a beer with me. Then, I convinced him to go to another bar and have a beer with me… Then another! Then, Muscles made me quit, because if we continued, we would both need a ride home. It is good to have friends in my life that keep me in check.
Muscles bartends at night on the weekends, so he had to be at work. Thank goodness since I clearly thought I needed to continue my little party of one, on the way back to our side of town my two other guy friends, IT and Finance called and invited me to beer/cigar/Entourage re-runs night in their garage-man cave. So, instead of Muscles dropping me off at home he was nice enough to take me to the man cave.
By the time my guys day ended, I was exausted. Golfing, drinking beer, peeing outside, smoking cigars…. I was worn out.
Even the next day, when I was getting my pedicure, I was still tired!
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