Humpday Happiness

I am being a lazy ass today with posting, and in lieu of a normal post I am going to share part of an email I got... These are pretty damn funny though and incredibly true.

In fact, the lady across from me asked me what I was doing, because I was laughing so hard but trying to stifle it, so it just sounded like I was heavy breathing at my desk.

And, heeeeeeere we go:

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a milli second earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm tryingto finish a text.

"LOL" has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail onthe Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first timeevery time...