Wake Up Call

This morning I was awaken by the most annoying sound in the whole world… my apartment buzzer makes the most awful noise and while at first I incorporated it into my dream, I finally realized that what I was hearing was real. I looked at the clock and it said 4:01. Now, I get up at 4:30 anyway, and I think if it was truly in the middle of the night, that might have mitigated my anger. But, since it was so close to when I had to get up, I just felt like I had been jipped out of my last 30 minutes!

The buzzing would not stop and I was getting so mad, but I was kind of scared too. My phone hadn’t rang, so I figured it wasn’t anyone I knew…

Finally, I got up and went to the intercom:

CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT!

SRG*: Uh… is this the Noggin residence?

CG: NO!!! SO QUIT FUCKING RINGING MY BELL!

I clearly have a foul mouth in the morning.

Then I got back into bed and began to get really scared… afterall, what if this guy is a homicidal nut job and I just pissed him off, and when I leave in 45 minutes to head to the gym he brutally beats me for being rude….

Then the buzzing began again.

CG: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW! YOU BETTER NOT RING MY BELL AGAIN! GO HOME ASSHOSE!!!!

SRG: I can’t go home, I LIVE IN ANKENY! (He apparently had had enough of my attitude as much as I had had enough of the buzzer and was going to yell back.) I LOCKED MY KEYS INSIDE!!!

CG: NOT MY PROBLEM! AND, I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU IN, SO CALL A FRIEND, BUZZ ANOTHER APARTMENT.

Ahhh. Silence.

More fucking buzzing.

CG: I swear to God you asshole I am going to call the police.

SRG: Good, I don’t care, call them.

So I did. Three numbers in fact. AND GOT ANSWERING MACHINES! I didn’t feel like this was truly a 911 type of emergency, but I did make a mental note to find out what the non-emergency number was… since clearly my quick blackberry browser search yielded incorrect results….

Ahhh… Silence again. So, I gave up on the po-po. And, missed out on my final minutes of cozy, precious, sleep.

I am not going to lie though, I strategically placed keys in between each one of my fingers when I headed out this morning, just in case he was waiting for me…

* SRG: Some Random Guy