A Letter to Llama

Dear Mamma -

I feel like you dropped the ball a little bit during my gestation period. I mean, I know it was nearly thirty years ago, but recently things have been brought to light that need to be addressed.

We have already talked about the Folic Acid situation and how you could have kicked it up a notch there, so I won't beat a dead horse... but one of the bazillion preggers girls in my office recently mentioned that she eats healthy because the baby can taste and develop food preferences based off of what the mother eats.

Um... did they have Charleston Chews back in the early eighties?? Were you taking in copious amounts of Starbucks' Carmel Macchiato? I feel like I would prefer eating my lunchtime carrots over gummy bears if you would have paid better attention to what you were putting in your pie hole!

I love you. I really do. Which is why I will look past the initial nine months we spent together and know that since that time you have showed marked improvement. But, thank goodness you did.

Taking A Month!?

Did you think that I disappeared?! I kind of did, I suppose...



I don't know if you have gathered from this little blogity blog, but I have a pretty routine life and I guess I simply ran out of things to talk about. Well... I ran out of things that I can talk to you about. Wink Wink... And, after my little precious baby sister left, I was feeling uninspired.



But, enough about all that! Here I am!



In order to find some inspiration, I even went home! Yep, that's right, I went back to Peoria and even though it has been only twice this year, I didn't even have to mapquest it!



It was such a great weekend. I got to visit my mom's "special" class of little precious dirty handed nuggets.



Sidenote: I have always had respect for my mom and the work she does, but after taking my germ-a-phobic ass to visit her class... I don't know if I should up my respect or just think she is crazy.



Little kids are so gross!! Sorry if you are one. Or own one. But, if you do, please make sure to have them bathe before school and blow there little noses and brush their hair...



Ok, I am done with that little tirade.



I also got to rock my Snookie costume at a Halloween Party with my mom, dad and brother.



When my brother was not demonstrating the very thin line between seeing and screaming at Karaoke, he was beating me with his cane slash sword showing me just how crazy Alex from Clockwork Orange was.



My mom would have to pause saving my life to hide in my dad's "TeePee" every time he got the Spartan Cheerleader Spirit. Thankfully, she had shorts on under her cheer leading skirt.



I need to visit home more often, because they are batshit crazy and I loved every ever lovin second of it!

Taking A Day

My little babycakes sister visited this weekend. She got here on Friday afternoon, so I had the entire, beautiful weather-ed weekend with her.

I don't want to talk about it though. Because since she left at 4:00 yesterday afternoon, I have just been feeling lonely and sorry for myself and down in the dumps.

Have you ever read the book Tuesdays With Morrie?? One of things that Morrie says is that if you are hurting, that is ok, you hurt for a day! Then, you deal with it and move on. So, a la Tuesday's with Morrie, I am giving myself until 4:00 today to just feel lonely and sorry for myself and down in the dumps...

Ok, maybe I will be done officially tomorrow morning. I think he meant to say a full calendar day, don't you?!

Whooooooopsiedaisy

It has been beautiful here in Des Moines. Seriously, every day is in the 70's and sunny... with no humidity.

Please hold...

Dear Lord. My smoothing product and I thank you.

Ok. I'm back.

So the other day Lil Bird breath and I rented bikes in downtown Des Moines and road all over the place! It was so. much. fun. I can't even tell you how great it was. You would just be jealous anyway and frankly I don't want to fight... so, just take my word for it.

Anyway... we were just about to take another lap around the sculpture garden when we noticed a large man in a wheel chair blocking the road way... Lil bird poop, being the sweetheart that she is, tried to go around in the grass... well on the way back to the sidewalk, the uneven surface-ness caused some problems and down she went.

What would a true friend do in the situation??? Instantly jump of my bike and run to my friends side to make sure she was ok?? Yes. Be concerned? Yes.

I hope that lil free-as-a-bird knows that she is such a great friend to me... And, I hope that she really is ok, even though I am pretty sure she suffered a bit of a skinned knee and bruised pride... and I hope that even though I couldn't ask if she was ok, because I was focusing really hard on not peeing my pants because I was laughing so hard, she knew I meant well... It was just so hard to focus right then!

Figure It Out, Ladies

You know that Lil Bird, up there, right!? She is pretty much my Iowa Sister/Mom.

Yesterday, I had friends visiting from Illinois, so I invited her along with me to meet them in Ames to go to an Apple Orchard.

I happened to be running low on gas, so we stopped, and since we were going to the Apple Orchard right after, I wanted to go to the bathroom at the gas station just in case the Apple Orchard only had porta-potties. Porta-potties are so flipping gross. So, I asked Lil Bird breath to pump the gas.

Well, I don't know exactly what happened... but when I came back out, Lil' Bird was all frazzled and there was gas all over the side of my car and her feet. She tried to explain what happened, but it seemed incredibly dramatic and I wasn't exactly following her story... so, I just took the receipt (which I am sure reflected fees for about a half a gallon of gas more than was needed) and left.

I will be honest here. I was totally thinking Lil Bird was a tard.

So, we get on the highway and the door ajar light kept blinking... So, we both opened and shut our doors really hard... waited.... still on!

My friend's 9 year old son was with us, in the back, so I had him do his door... waited.... still on! What?!

So, I asked him to scootch over and try the other one. Now, at this point, we are at the top of the on ramp for the highway and going about 7 miles per hour. I didn't want little Jaker to fall out, after all.

Open. Shut. Wait. STILL ON!?! WTF!?

It is then that I looked in the rear view and realized that the my trunk was just flappin away in the wind. You see, my gas tank opener is next to my trunk opener.

I guess that is what I get for judgin Bird. It is just a good thing that there are light indicators for special girls like us; because, I am not sure we would have ever figured that out.

I Was Wondering.....

...what is the percentage of Iowa State fans that are gingers? It just seems like a lot.

Future Plans

I love this little nugget so much. Like, seriously, so much.

If you don't know who she is, I would like to introduce you to my gorgeous baby sister.

She is coming to stay the weekend with me in two weeks... actually one and a half... and I can't hardly wait.

All this anticipation has me missing her and thinking about her a lot and it dawned on me that there is probably something that I should tell her and really, what better way to do so than via my little bloggity blog. After all, we are all friends here and there are no secrets. Right? Right?!?!

Anyway... back to the situation at hand. I vacillate between knowing that I am going to be completely happy on my own living life as a single, strong, independent woman and really wanting to be a mother and a wife. One of the reasons why I would choose the latter is when I think about who is going to take care of me when I am old and have problems with peeing my pants.

It is only then, that I can take comfort in knowing my beautiful baby sister and her future husband and kids will have a housemate.

Thank you in advance. And before you complain, my love, please remember that once upon a time, I had to change your diapers. This is only fair.