What…the hell, Bristol Palin!?! You had to tell your mom, via US Magazine, that you were getting hitched? How did you tell her you were preggers, by an airplane flyover!? And, Levi… really? I get that he is your baby daddy, but isn’t he dating Kathy Griffin? Isn’t she like 50? And posing for Playgirl is so trashy.
What…Are the chances that it is going to be like one thousand degrees in Des Moines today? Good.
What… Are the chances that in response to said heat, not only is my hair is going to be approximately 7 times larger than my normal (approximately 27 times time larger than anyone else's normal), but that I will also get a mild case of swamp ass on the walk to my car? Great.
What… do you think my neighbor would do if he came home to find a note taped to his door that said. "Dear Neighbor: Please learn how to drive. More specifically, please learn how to park. The only thing that sucks worse than the parking here is your parking; lines were painted for a reason. On an unrelated note. Your dog is about to have a change in scenery. If the barking persists, you are going to find a leash and collar with no dog attached. I won’t hurt him, because that is not in my nature… but I will drive him to Altoona, drop his ass off and never look back. I hope you two aren’t close."
2 comments:
Charlie,
It sounds as if you have a little heat induced rage - you need to take it easy in the air conditioning for a while - I hope this anger and the heat wave subsides before we go to New York - someone could into trouble on the subway!
You are probably right... and I don't want to unleash my mean right hook on any unsuspecting person... I'll stay indoors for the time being:)
Post a Comment