Change of Heart

I wanted to write about two kinds of people today... "Christopher Robin" people and "Eeyore" people.

Let me give you an example of both:

"Hi Christopher Robin! How are you today?" I am doing well, thank you! The sun is shining, its a short week, my family is healthy... Can't complain!

"Hi Eeyore, what's shaking?" Today is not a good day. My wife's been riding my ass, my boss is a prick, my kids are making me broke.... This is about the time you do whatever you can to end the conversation and walk away... Eeyore is probably in mid sentence, but you really don't care... now is not the time to be polite.

The moral of the story was that nobody likes an Eeyore and after having talked to a few recently, I wanted to post this little nugget of advice for your reading pleasure and as a reminder to myself to pull my head out of my ass when I am feeling like Grumpity McGrumpster.

But, in the interest of good information, I did what any good writer (obviously using the term loosely) would do and I researched my subjects. So, after a quick google search and a few minutes on Wikipedia, I learned that Christopher Robin is, in fact, a big giant asshole!!!

Christopher Robin was based off of A.A. Milne's son Christopher Robin Milne and Christopher felt that his father capitalized on his name and was quoted as saying, "It seemed to me almost that my father had got where he was by climbing on my infant shoulders, that he had filched from me my good name and left me nothing but empty fame."

Bitch, he gave you that name!

I am seriously pissed about this. Clearly.

Please excuse me while I step down from my soapbox to finish my story...

Ok... So, anyway.

I am hereby changing my types of people to "Oprah" and "Eeyore".

Christopher Robin can shove that misleading, chipper sunshine crap up his ass.

Ok, back down from the soapbox again...

Unplanned Fiesta

Sorry girls, the kitchen is closed...

Can we just grab a pitcher of Margaritas at the bar real quick?

Sure, no problem... Bars open.

Flash forward twenty minutes. The final two patrons having dinner had left and my girls and I are finishing up our pitcher...

See, here we are... Just five innocent girls enjoying a refreshing beverage.

But, then something happened... those waiters decided that they were going to spice up our girls night...

Oh. No. Things like this started happening... it was them, not us, I promise. Remember how innocent we looked up there?!

Just a few sips of that Mexican water... and all the sudden we were rockin sombreros and shakin our booties. I think those boys knew what they were doing... they had a plan all along. "Kitchens closed, but the bars open"... oldest trick in the book, we should have never fallen for it!

Holster those guns, ladies...

We made our way out about two hours after close... our bill was a big whopping $0....

Impromptu Mexican Vaca's are always a fantastic idea.

Smile Pretty!

My last post was Saturday?! I am a terrible blogger… I am glad you are all my friends and love me unconditionally. Even if I don’t post as regularly as I should. Even if I get in a bad mood sometimes and post only to vent. Even if I rob, lie, cheat and steal. Even if I fart while riding in a car with you and instantly hit the window locks.

Too far… that last one was just too far. Sorry.

Anyway, back to today.

Please wait, while I gather my inner fourth grader.

Do you know why? Because, today is picture day of course! Yes, that’s right… individual company picture day, which means there are a lot of black and gray suites walking around our office today.

The whole “picture day” situation reminds me so much of grade school. Today while I was getting ready my mind was filled with memories of the small black combs they handed out, trying to find the perfect outfit and making sure my French braid had no bumps in it and my mall bangs were perfect.

Today is also Thanksgiving Dinner at the office. I, however, will not be participating. There are two primary reasons why and before I tell you, I need acknowledge the fact that I am in fact crazy. I am aware. So, judge away, I already know.

First, the whole “pot luck” concept makes me nauseous. I know that I wash my hands before I prepare food… but how can I be sure John Doe in Accounting’s wife did before she begrudgingly prepared something for him to take to his office? In fact, she probably didn’t wash her hands just out of spite, because he couldn’t prepare his own damn dish…

Next, I am pretty sure that turkey, stuffing, gravy and apple pie doesn’t fall within my carbs/protein allotment for that meal.

This does pose a problem, though, as I now need to disappear during the festivities, so as not to have to answer any questions about why I am not partaking and I really want to do is eat my can of soup at my desk.

No matter what I decide to do though, I have to make sure I don’t get dirty… because, after lunch comes picture time, then… recess?!

Accumulation

This is the bush outside of the entrance to my apartment building. Just a regular old bush... right?

Take a better look...

Do you see all those white specks? That is chewed up gum. Each on individually spat there by....... me.

What kind of lady spits her gum out in a bush?

The kind of woman that doesn't think about how quickly those sticky chunks will start to add up!

It is so gross, I know. I am ashamed of myself. Not ashamed enough, however, to monkey pick through the bush to clean up the damage that I have cause.

What will my neighbors think when they know it is me?!

No, I won't... I will just wait until everything freezes over and dies and hope that my little gum balls will magically disappear before spring.

One Word Wednesday!

United.

Boot.

Besties

Oops!

Parents Weekend

I am pretty sure this was one of the best Des Moines weekends EVER! Do you wanna know why? Because of these cuties...

These lovers here are my mom and dad. My dad is practically a world famous artist... and this weekend he decided to grace Des Moines with his talent. They don't come to visit very often, so I was so excited to have them.

This guy here may be rocking some crazy eyes... and he may not be willing to drink a dirty thirty of NatiIce because it isn't as good as Miller Light... but that is ok. Because he blew the Des Moines art scene out of the water.

And this girl!? Every reason that I call my mom my best friend was reiterated. It probably is a good thing that she is my mom, though, and we didn't grow up together as same age best friends... because I think I would probably have to be writing this blog from jail, because we would have done something very fun, but very crazy to end up there!

The weekend wouldn't have been complete without these guys too though... my greatest friends.

I had such a great weekend, in fact, that I didn't want to do anything last night but cry! I didn't want the weekend to end! I didn't want my parents to leave, I didn't want my friends to go back to their houses, I didn't want to not be outside enjoying the beautiful weather, I didn't want to take my fake eyelashes off (another story, another day!)... I just wanted to replay it all again. But, life happens and all good things come to end. All we have are memories, plans to do it again as soon as possible and images like this true, beautiful, unabashed happiness is our heads...

Looking Out For Everybody Else

Today, in an effort to look out for the well being of my co-workers, I will limit my trips away from desk. I will do this because I look terrible and I don’t want to make anyone throw up.

Have you ever had those days? Come on, I know you have.

I hate what I am wearing, I hate my hair… pretty much the only thing I have going for me is I smell good, and with my stash of perfumes/lotions/body sprays/etc. it is pretty hard to screw that up…

This day just started and I can’t wait for it to be over. Fantastic.

It's Me! It's Me!

Who's that Spartan at my Halloween Part-y????

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! Chess Club Rules!!

I was going to be a total grown up lamo blamo last night and stay in... but that cute little Spartan up there talked me in to being his sidekick and boy am I glad I did... because if I wouldn't have gone out, I would have missed out on meeting this famous family!!!!

Yep, that's right... Jon and Kate with all their little nuggets! Please also take note in that picture, the big giant belly that is about to enter the room! Now, that is one sexy beast!