Oldy Moldy

Do you remember Lil Bird??

 

She is still bird breathin' all around town, and I sure do love her.  She is such a great friend.

 

It is clear to me though, that we are literally growing old together.  Our texts tonight were only to ask one another how are doctors appointments went.

 

It seems like just yesterday, we were doing this!

 

And we were having so much fun that she literally had to remind me to use the potty?!

 

I guess it could be worse, we aren't going potty in our pants yet!

 

Barfy Baby

Coconut Kay handles the Vet Clinic like a boss.  Look at her, just chillin.

 

I love her deep within my soul, but guess what... she might be a big ol' fat faker!  She has been barfing her head off all over the house, which prompted the Vet visit and the vet informed me that she really just gets overly excited and probably needs a Pepcid AC everyday and a ThunderShirt.

 

 

According to Thundershirt.com it is great for storms, separation, travel, over excitement and many other anxieties.  It uses gentle hugging to calm your dog.

 

First, this all seems a little ridiculous.  Second, I want one too.

Will You Have Me Back???

Holy cow, where has the time gone.  I know it has been a long time.  I don't write, I don't call.  But, I am ready to come back if you'll have me!

 

I had to take some time off.  I was (and am) really boring!  I think after a while you get it... I have gigantic hair, I don't like storms, I hate waking up early to run, I love coffee and lip gloss with my whole heart, bla bla bla. 

 

Well guess what.  Things have changed around here.  A little.  So, I have about three more things to throw into the mix!  Yah!  I am back!

 

Let me catch you up... (keep in mind, it really has been a long time and since I can't remember last year very well, the catch up will be very "high level" and mainly things that have happened during the last six months of my Facebook feed.  Which is where I went to get inspiration and pictures.

 

In no particular order.......

 

 

I married this guy.  Formerly known as Fiance, please meet HUSBAND!  I love him A LOT.  He is a really great man and incredibly smokin' hot handsome.  On Monday, August 12, 2014, we said our I Do's in front of God, his children and the Dallas County Inmates that had been taken in over the weekend and were waiting to speak with the judge.  It was glorious.  The Ceremony was followed by a quiet reception at Village Inn Restaurant and in lieu of dancing, the bride and groom went to Advenutureland to ride roller coasters and eat funnel cakes. It was quite a day. 

 

Now, these guys are my Step Kids.

 

 

Who from this point forward will be referred to as Girl and Boy.  They are 14 and 12 respectively.

 

 

Also included in our little fam is the most precious, sweetest, sassiest, little nugget you will ever meet.  She was such a tiny little baby when we got her.  Meet Coconut Kay.

 



 

And, now she is such a grown little girl!  She even has her own life jacket!  Safety first, folks.

 

 

I am totally one of those ridiculous dog owners.  I realize that I shouldn't compare my dog to your actual children, but don't judge me.  I really love my job, but I would totally be a stay at home mom to her and take her to activities and play dates.  I refuse to drink after people, including Husband... yet even though I have witnessed her literally lick her own behind, I will kiss her on her little mouth and let her have licks of my ice cream cone.  I actually do things like that.  It is disgusting, I know.  But, I won't stop.

 

I also met some famous people.  What, you don't know who this guy is?!  Jeez, watch Iowa State Basketball much?! 

 

 

What about Dakota Fred?!  Is that famous enough for you?!

 

It is clear to me that you are not easily impressed.  So, I will stop name dropping and will continue on with my updates.

 

I joined a Bunco group! 

 

 

What is not amazing about meeting with your best friends once a month to drink wine, chit chat and have good food? 

 

Do you recognize the miniature blonde in the front row?  What about the gingy pants in the back row??  You guessed it!  My momma and sister!  They are officially Iowans!!!!!!!!  Hooooooooooray!

 

I have been in Iowa for nearly 9 years and have been 4 hours away from my family.  And, now they are here!  I never  knew how much I missed them and the closeness until they came here! 

 

Now, I get to see them all the time!

 

With all of this stuff going on, I should have way more to tell you about, right?!

 

Well, we shall see.  I love you and I missed you! 

 

xoxox -Me.

 

 

 



Family Christmas

This Christmas is the first Christmas in all of my 30 years on this earth, that I will not be spending it with my parents and my brothers and sister and I am getting sadder and sadder by the second.

 

I know this might sound silly because I am grown woman, and it is just one day, but I just can’t shake it!

 

They are all going on a cruise and because of schedules/work/fiancé/ etc., I couldn’t go.  To be totally honest, when I made the decision, I wanted to be able to spend the holidays with Fiance and he was not able to go, so I decided to stay.  And, I know I am being a total jerk, because anytime Christmas is brought up I mention that I am not able to  spend it with my family… and he always says that he is my family too… and I know it probably hurts his feelings a little bit… but it just isn’t the same.  Does that make sense?

 

Anyway, I can’t even talk about it right now, because I just can’t.  So, moving along…. Since I am not able to be there, here are some things that they need to know and/or do:

 

Mom and Chelsea – As often as you remember, please remember to talk to Kristopher in a British Accent.  He may act like it annoys him, but he really appreciates and makes him feel more comfortable.

 

If someone has to get tossed off the ship for some reason, it should be Kristopher.  Thanks to all his MMA/jiu jitsu/other training I can’t remember - training, I am confident he is in the best shape to swim back to shore.  I am not sure the others could make it, so he is gonna have to take one for the team.

 

Kristopher and Chelsea – Race Kaleb up the stairs like we did in our hotel in New York.  He likes the competition and talking crap.  Also, put sun screen on him, he has a tendency to burn.  And, I have a feeling he might be a little bit of a cruise ship ladies man… so don’t cramp his style.

 

Everyone – Please watch over Chelsea.  She is so tiny and even though she thinks that since she is grown, she really is just a tiny little baby and needs all of us to protect her.  (She can get kind of feisty and scrappy though, so be on alert at all times.)

 

Kristopher, Kaleb, Chelsea and Mom – Don’t let dad where his big ol’ white socks with his Velcro sandals.  I don’t think any additional explanation is needed here, right??

 

Kristopher, Kaleb, Chelsea and Dad – I have taken mom on a cruise and she is totally nuts.  And, by nuts, I mean she is the very most exciting, excited, fun person on the whole ship.  Because of this deep desire to have the best adventure of her whole life in those 7 days, she is a real risk taker.  So, be careful with excursions.  International hospitals can be a bit sketchy.

 

While I may not be there with you in person, I will be carrying around each of you in my heart.  So much.  And, if you start to get sad, just think about how bitchy I get about things like eating and drinking noises and how mad I got with Chels and Kaleb got drunk on the Mexican vacation and I freaked out.  I am no fun anymore and a totally pain in the ass!  So, have fun!  Just come back safely.  Ok?

Babies Are Cute, Not Manly

Yesterday Fiance and I were getting some Christmas shopping done and on our list was a new addition to his side of the family, Wiley.  Wiley is his cousins two month old little babycakes!

 

Me:  Oh my gosh!  Look at this precious little rabbit sleeper!  It even has little ears!

 

Fiance:  Uuuuh.  No. 

 

Me:  Whatever.  He is a sweet little babycakes!

 

Fiance:  He is a boy.  Not a rabbit.  *He holds up a tiny leather jacket.*   He needs this, its manly.

 

Me:  And, is he going to change our tire while we are there?

 

To that, he just walked away.  I think it is less because he thought I was being unreasonable and more because he realized at that moment that I was absolutely right.

Passing Zone

The funniest thing just happened.  Well, I think it is so funny and cute, but you may just think I am just ridiculous.  It is a chance I am willing to take.

 

So, recently we hired a girl at work that is from England.  I don’t know where, but since Londy-pants is one of my very most favorite places in the whole world, I pretend she is from there and that she was really rich and got to live in an awesome flat with awesome flat mates. 

 

I wish I could talk to her only in my English Accent, like I do when by brother comes to visit.  But, like him, I think she would also want to punch me.

 

Anyway, we were both walking down the hall in opposite directions today and we went to get out of each other’s way and when I stepped to my right, she stepped to her left!  So, we were left doing the awkward pass dance.

 

Hello!  Any red blooded American knows that when you pass, you both move to the right, because that is the way our roads are!  But they drive on the opposite side of the road!!

 

I was secretly dying inside and wanted to tell her so badly, in my best English Accent, of course.

 

Ooooh, I want to go back to Londy-pants so bad…

Really?!?

On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up early so I could make it to the gym before everyone started waking up and before I needed to get the turkey in the oven. I opened the garage door to leave and backed up right into my parents van. 

 

About a week later, I was leaving for the gym and I backed into our recycling bin, that was waiting to be emptied.  I smashed into it, knocking it down and scattering our recyclables all over the street.  So, in the cold, darkness of the early morning…there I was… cleaning the street and cussing a lot.

 

You would think that I would have learned by now to simply look behind me, wouldn’t you? 

 

Well, that is a lesson I apparently have not learned.  This morning, guess who smashed into the garbage can?!  Any guesses?!  Yes.  That’s right, me.  So once again, I had to clean the street of our waste… while cussing a lot, of course.

 

I had just finished running this morning and was cleaning off my treadmill, when the lady next to me says, “Hi, I think you live in my neighborhood!  Did you hit your garbage can this morning?!” 

 

Well, that is one way to make friends, I suppose.